Ripples in the Water
by Evidence
Summary: COMPLETED-Years later Griss and Sara are married but face problems when their young son. Will they be able to deal with the fact that their child is not like them? Still a romantic fic
1. Default Chapter

Title: Ripples in the Water 

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 1

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: This takes place a few years in the future.  I wondered what would happen if Grissom and Sara's child was not a genius like them.  All medical, educational information is factual; during the day I teach.  We start off at the end of the story (almost) and then take a time machine to a few years before.  I think it will make sense as you read it.  Don't fear the story will not depressing remember I'm a sucker for romance.  Hope you enjoy.

He folded his pants and placed them in the brown leather bag.  A wedding present.  From Nick.  His and hers luggage.  He set his shirts, underwear, socks on top of the pants.  It wouldn't close.  He had too much to bring with him.  He took out a quarter of the bag's continents; he would get these later.  Grissom saw the "Best Dad in the World" baseball cap and debated whether he should bring it or not. He didn't feel like the best dad but he loved that cap.  He shoved it into his remaining open space and grabbed his gray jacket off the hook in his closet.  Correction it wasn't his closet anymore.  Lastly he removed the gold band that encircled his ring finger and placed it on the dresser.  He made sure to avoid the mirror above the dresser; he didn't want to look at himself now.

Slowly he walked down the hall.  He could hear her banging the dishes in the kitchen in some frenzy to have everything clean, to have some control.  

"I'm all set," he said when he finally completed his journey to the kitchen.  

She didn't turn around.  She shoved a plate into the dish rack and missed- it fell to the ground.  Shattered china lay strewn around, a wedding present from Catherine.  Instinctively he rushed to help picked it up.

"Don't bother."  Sara spat the words at him, her eyes drained of color.

"Mommy?"  The voice brought both of their attention to the small figure in the doorway.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine, sweetie.  I just dropped a plate."  She left the remains and moved to kneel beside him.  "Don't worry, everything's fine."  She brushed aside his thick hair.

Grissom doubled back to his bag and retrieved it from where he left it.  He looked down at the blue eyes staring back at him full of fear, anxiety, confusion.  "Dylan, we've talked about this, remember?  Daddy needs to go away for a while but I'm going to call you everyday and come see you whenever I can."

The boy's lip quivered.  

Sara continued to stroke his hair.

Grissom tried his best to keep the tears from falling.  "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

The boy shook his head but didn't seem to fully understand.

"Daddy loves you."  He put his hand to his son's cheek and started out the door.  He could hear Dylan's tears as he walked down the path which once led to his house.  He got into his Tahoe and slammed the door shut.  How did it come to this when it all started it so good?

A few years earlier…

They had walked hand in hand in the lab that day.  Catherine was the first to take an interest.  "Hey, guys…what's up?"  She looked curiously at the entwined hands and the grinning faces.

"Cath, can you ask everyone to meet us in my office?"  

"Sure, Grissom."  She watched them leave, walking and laughing.  Although they had begun dating a few months before, neither one of them based any romanticism at work.  The sheriff and Ecklie were blind to the blossoming relationship, an intentional act on their part.  Now Catherine wondered what was the reason they had decided to "out" themselves.

All the players soon ensembled in the small office.  Grissom and Sara both stood looking like sitting still for a minute would take great effort.

"Okay, my curiosity is peaked.  Don't keep us waiting."  Nick Stokes grinned back at them.

Grissom held up Sara's hand.  "Do you notice something?"

Greg was the first to see the light dancing on the diamond.  "Oh, man!  You guys are engaged?"

Grissom shook his head and Sara spoke, "Warrick, I think you lost that bet."

"Damn right I did."  Warrick laughed.

"What bet?"  Grissom scrunched his eyes at his intended bride.

"Warrick bet me that it would take five years for you to ask me to marry you.  He lost."  

"Thank God, it took them long enough to get together."  Greg shook his head in an exasperated expression.  Laughter filled the office.  

"Congrats you guys," Catherine reached over to hug them both.  "I'm so happy for you."

They were happy too.  Elated actually.  Time passed so quickly.  Soon Sara had found a nice place to get hitched and the date was set.  Sheriff Mobley had declined their invitation to the wedding but had amazing supported their decision to be together.  Ecklie was none too pleased and made disparaging comments in print on the subject.  He was reprimanded. 

Sara looked in the long mirror admiring the white gown and how it fit her.  "Hey," she saw Catherine through the reflection.

"A few minutes from now I'll be Mrs. Grissom.  I can't believe it is actually happening."

Catherine hugged her.  "You two deserve to be happy."

There was a knock on the door.  Sara's dad popped his head in.  "Honey, they are ready for you."

Breathing deeply she started off and took her father's arm.

Out in the wedding hall, Grissom nervously moved from one foot to another.  

"Will you stop that!"  Jim Brass, his best man, whispered in his ear.  "You're making me nervous."

"I'm marring Sara, Jim.  I can't believe it."

The organ began playing the wedding march.  All eyes and attention went to the back of the room.

Grissom watched in awe as the wedding party proceeded down the white fabric draped on the wooden floor.  Sara had asked Lindsay to be the flower girl.  Lindsay threw bits of red roses into the air.  They landed on the white fabric and gave the appearance of blood.  Somehow Grissom found this comforting.  

Sara chose two old friends of hers as bridesmaids.  Catherine was honored to be the maid of honor even though Greg kept insisting the title only applied to single, never married, girls.  Grissom was pleased with the color of the bridesmaid dresses: a light purple.  He had feared that Sara would find a tie-dye pattern in some seventy's shop.  

Soon Grissom saw her on her father's arm.  She was a vision.  Sara hadn't wanted anything too fancy or puffy.  She picked the perfect dress for her: elegant, simple, tasteful, beautiful.

Sara's heart skipped a beat as she walked down the isle.  She was marrying Grissom, the man she loved, that she had loved for many years.  He looked so handsome in the black tux.  A purple tulip peaked out from his lapel.  It had finally happened.  They were together for now until death.  

The Reverend went through the procedures of the marriage ceremony.  Rings were exchanged, "I dos" were said, and lastly came "You may now kiss the bride."  Their lips met and a chorus of applause echoed in the hall, which they had used for the ceremony.  They walked out hand in hand.

Sara smiled as she passed Grissom's groomsmen, Nick and Warrick; they both had tears in their eyes.  The limo was waiting for them to take them to the reception.  After being pelted with birdseed they waved and with a "Meet you guys there" from Sara they were off.  

Grissom put his arm around his wife.  It felt almost surreal like it couldn't be true.  He honesty never thought he would get married and then to marry Sara…it was like having all your dreams become reality.  

"Grissom, thank you for today."  She put her head on his shoulder.

"Don't thank me, I should be thanking you.  You made me live again Sara."  He kissed her forehead.

"Would you make me one promise?"

"Sure."

"Promise me that you'll never shut me out of your life again."  Her voice grew serious and she locked on to his eyes.

"I promise Sara."  He meant it to but promises were easier to say than to actually keep.

A few months later…

He paced back and forth in front of the bathroom.  What was taking her so long?  

She opened up and came out.  "We need to wait just two minutes and we'll know."  She put her arms around him.  "Oh, Griss I hope it's true."

"If it isn't this time it will happen.  We will have a baby Sara."  He kissed her cheek.

"I know I'm impatient, we've only started trying but…I want your child, I'm sure of it."

He never admitted to her how unsure he was.  How it kept him up at night.  How he worried that the baby would have hearing problems.  How he felt that he couldn't be a good father, that it wasn't in him.  He never told her that he didn't want any children.  He wanted her to be happy and if having a child accomplished that, it was okay with him.

Sara's watch beeped reminding her of the life alternative answer behind the door.  "It's time."  She gulped nervously and Grissom wished for her sake that she was pregnant.

Grabbing Grissom's hand she pulled him into the bathroom.  With slight trembling she picked up the stick.  Grissom didn't see if it had changed color or not but he knew the answer when she turned around a huge smile on her face.

"We're going to have a baby!"  The tears mingled with her happy squeal and Grissom did his best to show how happy he was.  He wasn't happy though, he was scared.

Children, he knew, where a big commitment.  The first three years of their lives shaped who they would be in the future.  Their personality was already formed by age five.  Their vocabulary reflected the environment and sadly, social-economic status they lived in.  A child was not an experiment or a lab, it was something that needed you consistently and depended on you in its early years for everything.  Grissom already realized that he would be the "older" dad on class night.  The part of a couple people whispered about because she was so much younger than him.  The child would have so many disadvantages: workaholic parents, a morbid nature given his parents' jobs, genes that beget hearing loss and social interactions hardships.  He couldn't fathom why Sara had now wanted a child so desperately when earlier she hadn't.

The news quickly spread through the lab with Sara's assistance.  Catherine was overjoyed and eager to pass on advice and Lindsay's old toys.  Nick and Warrick already established themselves as uncles.  Greg danced around the DNA lab singing songs that had "baby" in them.  It was Brass who saw through Grissom's façade.

"For an expectant father, you don't look too happy."  He motioned to Grissom's office and they walked to it together.

"I'm very happy, Jim, just a little shell shocked still."

"Well, Sara's on cloud nine and you look like gloomy Grissom.  He hasn't made an appearance since Sara and you got together.  Finally." He smiled at the last word. 

"Like I said Jim, it's a lot to take in."

"Whoa, I thought you guys planned this?"

"We did."

"Then how the hell can it be a lot to take in!  You must have already discussed what would change and how you felt."  Jim paused letting what he was saying sink in.  "That's it isn't it.  Sara told you how she felt but you didn't tell her.  You just went along with it to make her happy."

Grissom was caught off guard.  He hated when people read his motivations and feelings.  Especially when they were on target.  "I'm happy."

"You better be, you're bringing a new life into the world and that's one hell of a responsibility."

"I know that!"  Grissom slammed his hand on his desk.  "I need to get back to Sara, this conversation is over."

Grissom was nearly out of the door when Brass spoke.  "Are you wondering if you'll turn out like your pop?"

Grissom's head shot around.  How…

"You've never mentioned him.  I do know your parents were divorced but you never said if he was around.  He wasn't a good father was he?  You're not him Gil, you're your own man."

Grissom slammed the door behind him.  Jim Brass was beginning to be a good CSI for a detective; he picked up too many clues along the way.  

Nick met him out in the hall.  "There you are!  We've got soda in the breakroom and we're planning a toast.  Come on."

Sara, Greg and Catherine sat on the breakroom sofa.  Warrick had a chair.  Grissom stood next to Sara and accepted a glass of ginger ale from Nick.

"Okay, everyone hold your glasses up!"  Nick smiled brightly.  "A toast to Grissom, Sara, their love and their baby born out of that love."

"Hear, hear." Brass said eyeing Grissom as he entered the breakroom.

Glasses clinked and ginger ale was slurped.  

"Nice toast, Nicky."  Sara hugged him.

"Ah, your welcome.  I'm so happy for you two.  You know," he started looking from Grissom to Sara and back again, "this kid is going to be a genius with your genes."

Laughter abounded.  "He'll have our jobs,"  Warrick said.

Catherine waved her hand.  "She'll be a graduate of Harvard, or Yale."

"Probably won't date anyone until he or she is 20."  Greg said with a mischievous grin.  

Grissom avoided Brass's stare and looked at a beaming Sara.  Maybe everything would be okay.  Maybe.

The pregnancy went beautifully but then…

"Mrs. Grissom, don't push!"  The doctor proceeded to hold his hand on her leg as if that would stop her contractions.

"We are losing the baby's pulse."

"Mom's pulse is starting to get weak."

"We've got blood!'

Grissom could feel the shivers moving up and down his spine as he held Sara's hand.  The baby was dying, something had gone so very wrong and Sara wasn't in much better shape.

"Sir, you need to leave, now."  The young med student grabbed him by the shoulder and yanked him away from his wife and baby.

"Gil…" Sara was calling to him.  She hardly ever called him "Gil" unless she was pissed at him or afraid of something.  He knew that fear was gripping her right now.  She had everything she wanted and in one second it could all be taken away.  

Grissom had never thought he would love this baby as much as she did.  It wasn't even born yet and his heart ached that he would never get the chance to hold the little tyke.  Over the months as he watched Sara's belly grow and felt the baby kick he had grown attached.  He had opened himself up to another person and now would face what he feared most: losing something.  Grissom had always worried that if someone really knew him he would lose a part of himself.  Now though he might lose someone, a precious child.

They all ready knew it was a boy, the ultrasound discovered that.  After hit and misses in a baby name book they spent one night listening to music (Sara) and reading poetry (Grissom).  Both of them came to the same conclusion about the name.  They wanted their son to be called Dylan.  Sara had been rocking to Bob Dylan while Grissom caught up on his Dylan Thomas reading.  More proof that the two of them were perfect for each other.  Two halves that equal a whole. 

Grissom walked into the waiting room and saw the small party.  Greg was already handing out chocolate cigars and flirting with nurses.  Warrick and Nick were playing checkers, Nick losing badly.  Catherine saw him first and read the expression on his face.  She felt her stomach twist.

"Grissom!"  Greg turned now and saw him.  "So Dad how's the boy?"

Grissom rubbed a sweaty palm over his face.  "Not good.  Something…complications arose.  The baby is dying and Sara's not doing well."

The party grew mournful.  Catherine patted his arm.  "Have faith."

"I lost that long ago," he replied.

Nick sat and stared at the wall.  Greg and Warrick tried to give words of confront.

Time slipped past and finally Sara's doctor emerged.

"Mr. Grissom."

"Yes," he said as his heart caught in his throat.

"Your wife is doing very well."

"Thank God,' Nick muttered not realizing everyone could hear him.

The doctor shifted his eyes to the floor.  "Why don't we go to my office to talk about your son."

Grissom couldn't move if he wanted to, he was immobilized with fear.  "Just tell me."

Warrick put his hand on Grissom's shoulder and Catherine stood up so she was closer to him.

"The baby's right arm caught on the pelvic bone.  We had to dislodge it.  As we were the baby's heart rate decreased and oxygen stopped going to his brain.  He lost oxygen for a few minutes.  He nearly died but he is stable now."

Oxygen to the brain, dear God.  "Does Sara know?"

"Yes."

"What does that mean?"  Greg asked.

Grissom turned and answered him.  "Dylan is brain damaged Greg.  He will have problems for the rest of his life.  It could be minor or severe.  The doctors won't know until he starts getting older.

"I'm sorry Mr. Grissom.  You may see your wife or your son whenever you are ready."  The doctor left.

Grissom went first to see the boy.  He was long and strong looking.  Most likely he would be a tall kid.  A mop of brown wavy hair encased his head and bright blue eyes seemed to be looking right at Grissom.  Grissom felt his heart skip a beat.  His son, his child.  It was quite a miracle.

He saw Sara next.  She was sitting up in her hospital room even after the ordeal she had been through.  "Griss, have you seen Dylan?"

"Yes, he's beautiful."  Grissom pulled a chair beside her bed.

"They won't let me see him."  She grabbed on to her husband hands.  "They told me he's 23 inches long and weighed 7 pounds 2 ounces.  What color is his hair?"

"Brown.  It is wavy, too."

"Wow."  She nestled her head against his shoulder.  "We have a baby."

"I know, amazing isn't it?"  Grissom whispered in her ear.

"He's perfect, absolutely perfect."

Grissom pulled slightly away.  "Sara, he's not perfect.  This kid is going to have a lot of problems.  Life will never be easy for him.  We have a long, hard road ahead of us."

Sara looked into his eyes and smiled.  "He'll be fine, Griss.  Don't worry about Dylan, I know everything will work out."  She put her head back on his shoulder.

Grissom didn't agree.  He was now concerned that Sara had built up an unrealistic view of Dylan and his problems.  What would this do to their marriage?

The problems were just beginning…

To be continued…(The back story is concluded now we will deal with Dylan and their marriage.)


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Ripples in the Water

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 2

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes:  Little Dylan has been brought home.  As he grows Sara and Grissom find themselves growing too- although apart.  There will be a few light moments to break up the tension.

The crying jarred him awake again for the fifth time that night.

"My turn," he heard Sara say.

He turned on the beside lamp- no use to try to sleep.  Soon Grissom could hear Sara's soft singing through the baby monitor.  She didn't mind any of it: the lack of sleep, the feedings, the cleanup.  Sara had taken on the act of motherhood as if it was a new facet of her job.  She put all her energy into being a mom just as she did being a CSI.  Grissom admired how good she was at it all.

Sara returned and curled up beside him in bed.  "You can close the light."

"I doubt I'll sleep."

"I might."

He sighed and switched the lamp off.

"He was fine just wanted his mommy."  He could feel her breath on his chest.

"Smart boy."

"He is Grissom, he is smart."

Once again Grissom said nothing.  How could he hurt her by throwing the truth in her face?  Dylan wasn't smart and would never be.  It was better to stay silent and let her believe the fantasy.

When he could hear the peaceful tones of Sara's sleeping he carefully exorcised himself from her and their bed.  He walked silently and swiftly to Dylan's room and peeked in.  The Mickey Mouse nightlight captured the baseball themed room.  Nick's baby gift to them had been to paint the room so that it looked like a baseball field.  The floorboards were green with four white blocks that represented the plates.  The walls were lined with brick like wallpaper (for some reason Nick was a Cubs fan and wanted the room to look like Wrigby field). The ceiling was painted a bright blue and Nick had done his best to make a realistic looking sun.  

Grissom okayed Nick's idea believing Sara would never go through with it but she ended up loving it.  She said that it reminded her of the magic words he said to her that day on the hockey case.  The sport was beautiful to him and the room was beautiful to her.

Dylan was cooing softly in his crib.  He was adorable as he slept.  This was the time to enjoy him before he grew and his problems came into focus.  Grissom shook his head.  Why did this have to happen to them?  Couldn't they enjoy a little happiness?  

Of course once the diagnosis was made Grissom did research.  He never should have.  What he discovered scared him.  He didn't tell Sara she would either find out on her own or ask him if he found out anything.  He wouldn't lie then, he would tell her the truth.  When children like Dylan lose oxygen to their brains, part of the brain begins malfunctioning.  Grissom had the word imprinted in his mind: anoxia.  That was what happened to his son.  He replayed on a daily basis the doctor saying in that dull, dry tone, "Anoxia is a brain injury.  It occurs when someone, Dylan, loses oxygen to his brain."  Grissom had picked up more information about the dreaded "a" word.  How it was considered an acquired brain injury.  That there were two categories of brain injuries: traumatic (a car accident) and nontraumatic (lost of oxygen).  At least Dylan's injury was the lesser of two evils, the nontraumatic.  His problems would not be as severe as another child who had the former, they could be considered mentally challenged.  

Grissom read that babies knew their mothers by their sense of smell.  He wondered if Dylan even knew he was there.  Would he even care if suddenly there wasn't that person called "Daddy"?  Grissom pushed the thought from his head and went to the living room.  Turning on a small light he opened a book and began reading. 

Sara found him the next morning asleep on the couch.  His eyes fluttered and then her face came into focus.

"Why didn't you come back to bed?"  She sat on the coffee table, staring at him.

"I…I wasn't going to fall asleep so I stayed out here.  No reason to disturb you."

"Well, you did fall asleep.  You were sleeping nicely when I came to see what was up with Dylan."

He noticed then the blanket on him and the book he was reading on the table.  "I'm sorry, Sara, I didn't hear him."

A smile escaped her mouth.  "It's okay, I'm not mad at you, just…curious, I guess."  She stood up.  "What do you want to eat?"

"Oh, I'll pick something up on the way to work."

Sara shook her head trying to connect her thoughts.  "Griss, today's your day off, remember?"

He rubbed his temple.  "Yeah, I know but I have so much paperwork to do…I better go in."  He left the couch and headed for the shower wondering what thoughts were going through her head.  Would she realize that he didn't want to be home with them?

Dylan was growing fairly well although his right arm was giving him problems.  He had a hard time trying to grasp anything.  The doctors were now saying he had gross motor control problems were the large muscles in the body do not work properly.  Grissom had spent the majority of time at work.  Sara had taken three months off to be just a mom.  Grissom longed for puzzling cases that required working doubles.  Sara kept lamenting how much she missed him but he blamed the job.  

Catherine noticed the distance forming between them and decided to try to help them out.  She surprised them with a weekend vacation to Los Angeles.

"Catherine, we can't go, we have Dylan."  Sara looked down at the reservations for the hotel.

"You know I can take care of a baby.  Lindsay was one once."  Catherine grinned at the couple.

"I don't know if I want to leave him," Sara looked at Grissom.

"It would be nice to have some time to ourselves," he put his arm around her, "we trust Cath."

"Yeah…alright but I'm calling everyday okay?"  Sara wiggled her finger at Catherine.

"I'm forewarned."

Departing for the trip took forever.  Sara had to explain to Dylan where they were going and that they would be back soon.  Grissom had tried to tell her that Dylan didn't understand but she wouldn't listen.

Finally they were off and heading to LA.  This is just what we need, Grissom thought.  Time away, time to be together.  By shutting out Dylan he had effectively shut out Sara, too.  The hotel was lovely and near famous attractions.  They had a grand time looking at the stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

"Griss, here's Kermit's!"  Sara pointed to the star.

"Kermit the frog has a star?"

"Yeah, look."

"He's a puppet!"  Grissom shook his head.  Hollywood would give anyone a star even if they weren't real.

"Let's take a picture for Dylan."  Sara grabbed the small digital camera and snapped a few shots.

"So where to next?  Rodeo Drive?  Tour of where stars live?"  He put his arms around her waist and looked in her eyes.  He loved her so much.  It felt so good to be close with her again.

"Wherever you want.  As long as we are together."  She kissed him sweetly on the lips.  "But first let's call Cath and see how Dylan is."

"Okay."  Dylan was never far from her mind.  He sighed as she produced the cell phone she bought for the trip and watched her smiling and laughing as Catherine related stories to her.

She handed the phone to him, "Here your turn to talk to Dylan."

He took the small black phone from her outstretched hand and held it to his ear.  "Hey, we'll be home soon."  

Catherine's voice emerged on the other end.  "Don't hurry back, we're having fun."

"Thanks again, Catherine."

"My pleasure, I miss having a little one around."

The afternoon was filled with laughter.  Grissom felt nearly exhausted when they finally got back to the hotel room.  He threw himself down on the bed, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes.  

Sara placed herself down beside him.  "That was certainly fun today."  She kissed him.

"Sara…" he started.  "I'm too tired."

"Oh, okay."  She shrugged then smirked at him.  "You're getting old Gil Grissom."

"Don't remind me."

Sara changed in the bathroom and when she went back to lie beside him, he was already fast asleep.

The next day they spent at a Venice art show that Sara was interested in.  Grissom found a lovely print that he thought Sara would love.  He asked Sara if she would get him a soda and then quickly went to the vendor selling the prints.  

"Yes, sir, how can I help you?" The man's dark tan matched the color of Grissom's shirt.  

"I would like to buy that print, The Garden Valley, please."

"Sure," the man smiled brightly and took if from the display rack.  "It's expensive, you know."

"That doesn't matter; it's for someone special."  Grissom forked over his credit card and watched the register ring up $70.  He couldn't wait to give it to Sara.  "Are you the artist?" he asked the vendor.

Red showed through the tan.  "Yes, sir I am, my name's Evan."

"Well, Evan it is quite beautiful.  My mother owned an art gallery, you probably could sell your work to a gallery."

"Oh, I don't know, sir but thank you."

Another man approached carrying one of Evan's postcard pictures.  He handed Evan a fifty for the twelve-dollar item.  Grissom watched as Evan struggled to make change finally being rescued by the returning woman who was with him earlier.

"I got it, Ev, don't worry."  The woman was slightly older than Grissom and he realized quickly that she was Evan's mother.  This would be their life with Dylan.  Even as an adult he would need them to do the basic things in life.  Downtrodden Grissom returned to find Sara.

She wasn't happy.  "Gil, where the hell did you go?"  Her eyes cast down to the picture he was holding in his hand.  She nearly dropped his soda.  "Did you…"

"It's for you Sara, I saw how much you liked it."  He smiled once again pushing the memory of Evan and his mother to the back of his mind.  

"Oh, Grissom.  Thank you."  Sara quickly kissed him.  "How are we going to bring this home?"

Grissom laughed.  "Yeah, with it's frame it is kind of big for the plane.  We'll manage."

"Are you tired?"  she asked, a devilish look in her eyes.

"No, why?"  Then he realized.  "Let's go."  He threw the soda in a handy trash bin, grabbed Sara's hand and took off for the hotel.

The phone rang interrupting them.  

"Who the hell…" Grissom began.

"Ignore it is probably room service."  She continued kissing his neck.

"Sara, it's been a while."  He moved his hands up and down her spine.

"I know," she breathed.

The phone rang a few more times but they continued to ignore it.  It was the first time they made love in a few months.  Grissom felt like everything was perfect for a few moments.  He let his worries do by the wayside.  He looked down at Sara asleep on his chest and he kissed her hair.  Somehow everything would work out as long as he had her.

Another ringing began, this one slightly different from the hotel phone.

"Griss, is that my cell?"   Sara woke up shaking her head.

"Maybe…"

"Griss, what if it's Catherine."  She moved back from him.

"Sara…"

"I've got to answer that."  She left the bed and grabbed the cell from the table where she left it.  "Hello."  

"Sara?  It's Catherine I'm so sorry to call you but…Dylan's been throwing up and I couldn't get him to stop.  I brought him to the hospital and the doctors think he's fine but… you needed to know."

"What hospital?"  Her words came out in a rush.

Grissom turned and get out of the bed.

"Desert Palm.  I called you this afternoon and then a little later after dinner but…"

"Oh, God, that was you?"  Sara pushed back her hair.

"Look, I would want to know if it were my kid but you can stay on your trip.  You'll be home tomorrow anyway."

"No, we're on our way right now.  Thank you Catherine.  Tell him we love him."  She closed the cell up and rubbed the tears away.

"What's the matter?"  Grissom asked.

She repeated what Catherine had said.

Grissom nodded his head.  "He'll be fine this happens to babies."

"Grissom, our son is in the hospital!  We need to get back to him."

"We'll be there tomorrow. Sara, it's past midnight right now."

"I don't know what you've doing but I'm going to grab a plane now if I can."   Sara began searching for clothes to put on.

He grabbed her hand so she had to turn to face him.  "Look, I'm worried about him too.  Catherine should have never called."

"Sometimes I don't think I really know you at all."  She removed herself from his grasp.

He was stunned.  How could she say that?  Of course he was worried about Dylan but it wasn't like they were at the lab and Catherine was telling them they needed to go home.  They had to book a new flight, get a plane, and then take a taxi to the hospital.  

"We should have never left him."  Sara had thrown on a t-shirt and pants.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead.  "Let me put some clothes on and call the airlines maybe there is a flight leaving earlier."

Sara looked into his eyes, tears welling at hers.  "Griss, I want him to be okay."

"I know, I do, too."  She let him put his arms around him.

There were no earlier flights so they spent an anxiety filled time waiting.  Eventually they reached Dylan and discovered that he had a new problem added to his laundry list: a milk allergy.  His system was trying to purge itself of a toxin.  Allergies come and go sometimes the doctor had said but it was something more added to the shoulders of his parents.

A few nights later they the planned to make love again but between Dylan's cries and Grissom's headache they never accomplished their goal.  Grissom went back to the couch and looked at the painting hanging above it.  Evan's painting. It was a beautiful world he had captured full of greens, flowers and a childlike innocence.  Grissom was memorized by it.  His hope was that Dylan would have something special that he could do so that like Evan he would be able to earn a wage and have dreams.  Grissom placed his hand on the frame and silently wished for the life that he and Sara once knew to return.

To be continued… (Dylan begins getting a little older as a new problem surfaces.)  


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Ripples in the Water

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 3

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: The question becomes why is Grissom acting the way he is toward Dylan?  Well in this chapter using some back-story that I created we discover why.  The back-story comes from seeing some hints of this in Sounds of Silence and The Execution of Catherine Willows when Grissom is watching the father behind the screen.  Hope you enjoy.

Plants.  Two of them.  African violet and an ivy.  Diplomas from Stanford and UCLA.  A collection of toys for children: Mr. Potato Head, Hot Wheels, Barbie.  Grissom's foot taped the floor as he took in his surroundings.  Three other parents were waiting as well.  A young single mom sat with a boy about three and a couple held their small daughter in their arms.  Grissom's fingers began taping the table next to him.

"Will, you stop that," Sara shook her head with a laugh.  "He must be running a little behind."

"We've been waiting half an hour, Sara.  How far behind can he be?"

Sara peaked in at the sleeping baby in the walker.  "Well, Dylan's getting some shut eye so at least that's one positive thing."

"Oh, good, he probably will be up all night."

Sara swatted him with the magazine she was holding receiving a curious look from the couple across the way.

"Mr. And Mrs. Grissom, the doctor is ready to see you."  An older nurse came out holding their paperwork in her hand.

"Finally," Grissom said getting up and pushing the walker along.

"Don't mind him," Sara said to the nurse with a glint of laughter in her eyes.

They waited a few more minutes in a small, brightly colored room.  Dr. Lang, their pediatrician, joined them eventually.  He was a tall man with straight blonde/gray hair and a stoic look on his face.

"Good afternoon, hey, there Dylan."

At that Dylan's eyes opened and focused on the doctor.

"Hey, doc, so time for Dylan's 6 month checkup," Sara said but Grissom noticed the nervousness in her voice.  They were about to learn if Dylan had made any progress since his last visit.

"Alright, shall we get started, Dylan?"  Dr. Lang picked him up from the walker.

Grissom watched as Dylan went through a series of tests, his heart clenched in a tight grip.  Come on, Dylan, you can do it, he silently cheered him on.

Once Dr. Lang had completed the tests he put Dylan back into his walker.  He took a seat on a red stool and sighed.  Sara felt her breath catch.

"Well, Dylan's vision and hearing are fine, that's good," he began.

"Hearing might be an issue later on though," Grissom said looking at Sara who nodded.

"Yes, that's true but at least for now he can hear fine.  It is hard for him to follow an object as I move it though.  This is not because he can't see it. His brain only lets him hold on to ideas or concepts, things for a short time, then he's on to something new.  Focusing will probably be tough for him."

"Okay," Sara said with a fake smile.

"His motor skills I'm very concerned about.  We know that his right arm was caught on the pelvic bone during birth.  It seems that the majority of his muscles were ruined.  He cannot grasp anything with his right hand.  It is essentially useless."

Sara wiped a tear away.  Grissom sat in silence.

"Luckily this left arm works quite well.  He can grasp objects and hold on to them but just not for too long.  This might improve later.  Emotionally he's normal.  He smiles, laughs, knows who you two are."

Both parents smiled at this.

"So although Dylan's progress isn't as good as we hoped at least he has made some," Dr. Lang stood up.

"Doctor, he doesn't make any vowel like sounds.  I've read that he should."  Grissom looked at the man and swallowed hard.

"Well, he might just be a little late or…"

"Or…what?"  Grissom asked.

"Or it might be part of the learning disabilities he will have."

"Does that mean he'll never speak?"  Sara questioned the doctor.

"No, it just means that he might be developmentally behind in language.  That he won't be able to read for a long time, sounding out words will be difficult, writing will be a challenge.  That's all."

"That's all?  That's what you say to us!  You're talking about our son and how his life will forever be screwed up!"  Grissom's voice reached a fevered pitch.  Dylan began crying and Sara put one hand on Grissom's shoulder and the other on her son's walker.

"Let's go," she said directing Grissom out of the office, "thank you doctor."  

Their house was small but lovely.  It was painted blue with white shutters and had a back porch with a wooden swing.  The yard had space for a garden and an above ground pool.  Grissom loved that house it had just felt right when Sara and him had seen out a few years back.  He loved that house but now he couldn't stand to be in it.

Grissom put the Tahoe in the garage and helped Sara take Dylan from his car seat.  They had a silent journey back home. The doctor's words keep recycling through his brain, over and over.  

"You did good, Dylan," Sara said as she put him back in his crib to rest.  "Your mommy's smart little boy."  She gave the child and bright smile and bumped into her husband behind her.

"Sorry about that…"  She looked into his eyes but something was wrong, something was missing.  "Gil, are you okay?"

He couldn't stand it; he couldn't take living in this fantasy world with her.  He felt pressure on his chest; it seemed so hot in the boy's room.  His mouth felt dry and his head hurt.  He knew he needed air; he needed to get out of there.  Grissom turned and walked out the door and to the Tahoe.

"Griss!"  He heard Sara yelling as she came behind him.

He turned the ignition key and backed up only seeing his wife's image in a reflection in his rearview mirror as he drove off.

The bar was dank and dirty.  A thick cloud of smoke hung around the rafters.  Grissom gulped down another whiskey and called the bartender over for more.

"Sorry, man you had enough."  The grisly hair man wiped a rag on the bar.

"I won't drive home, just one more.  Then call me a cab."  

"Sorry."  He moved to another patron just entering the scene.

Someone sat beside him and it took him a minute to realize who it was.

"Pop was a drunk so I'm going to be one, too?"

"Jim, how…"

Brass tapped his fingers against the wood of the bar.  "Sara called Catherine all upset.  Said you were acting strange and just left the house without a word.  Catherine called me and I asked my men to be on the lookout for any Tahoes.  Bruner, you know him, he saw a Tahoe at this shit- hole so that's how I found you."

Grissom rubbed the bridge of his nose.  "Would you mind giving me a ride?"

"Of course not but tell me first what the hell is going on."

"You seem to know everything."  Grissom looked at the empty glass in front of him.

"So Pop was a drunk huh?  I kinda wondered that.  He wasn't a great guy, left you and your mom.  Have you talked to him since?"

"No."

Brass nodded his head.  "I guess genes are hard to ignore."

"What are you talking about?"

"Pop leaves, Grissom leaves.  Pop was a drunk, Grissom tries to be one."

Grissom jumped off the stool nearing losing his balance.  "I am not a drunk.  I've only been drunk probably three times in my life, Jim."  He rubbed his forehead and more quietly said, "I'm not like him."

"No, you get drunk on science and mystery, that's true.  That's your drug of choice.  But you close yourself off to everyone.  Now you're doing it to your own family.  There is something to be said for repeating the mistakes of your father."

"I love my family but we…we received some horrible new today about Dylan."

"Horrible news?  Did you find out he isn't yours?  That my friend is horrible news, believe me.  But you know what I still loved Ellie.  I just made the mistake of not being home that much, blaming the job.  Then I lost my job and my family.  Now I don't have a daughter. That pains me, Gil.  Don't be foolish like I was.  Kids are precious no matter who's they are or what's wrong with them.  Unlike me you have a wife that adores you.  Don't lose her either."

Grissom shook his head.

"Come on, let me bring you home."

Sara was waiting at the front door.  "Thank you, Brass."

"No problem."  To Grissom he said, "Don't be stupid."  He drove off in his car.

Sara's face was a mixture of anger, worry, and distress.  Her voice was strong by soft, "Where have you been?"

Grissom hung his head and stared at his feet.  "I was at a bar."

She bit her lip to keep the tears inside.  What was happening to them?  What was happening to their marriage?  Why wasn't Grissom the man she married?  

"I'm…I'm sorry Sara."  He stood outside of his house like some stranger asking for admittance.

"Why did you leave like that?  Do you know how scared I was?"  

"I'm sorry.'

"Is that all you can say?"  She backed away from the door and entered their black/blue kitchen.

He closed the door behind him and sat down at his place at the table.  "The news today was upsetting."

"Yeah, well it was upsetting for me, too."

His eyes met hers.  "You didn't seem upset."

"Of course I'm upset, Grissom.  I want Dylan to have the best life possible and it would have been nice if he were born perfect.  He wasn't born perfect though and that doesn't mine I'm going to just give up on him."  She grabbed the tea kettle and set it on the stove.

"So you realize that he will never have a normal life."

"A normal life?  Grissom, what is a normal life?  Have you lived a normal life?"

He was taken back by her words.  His mind was foggy already and now she seemed to have confused him more.  Was his life normal?  Probably not.  "He's not going to be smart.'

"This coming from the man who has acted like an idiot on several occasions."  She turned to him and breathed deeply.  Sitting in a chair beside him she touched his hand.  "We all have different ways to deal with things.  I guess we are just dealing with this on our own terms."

"I don't want to have to deal with it at all."  Tears stung his eyes and he felt Sara's hands on his face.

"Dylan could be much worse off.  We were lucky."

"I don't feel lucky."

She moved so he could rest his head on her shoulder.  

"I love you Sara.  That hasn't changed."

"I know you do," she said wondering if he was speaking the truth, "and I love you as well."  She did, even with the trouble they had lately; her heart belonged only to him.

The tea kettle sang and Sara got up to retrieve the tea.  Grissom pushed his hand through his hair and pondered for a moment his conversation with Jim Brass.  Could he escape the genetics?  Or was he bound to be a bad father and husband?  Sara placed the tea in front of him and he drank it in silence.  He opted to sleep on the couch that night and Sara said nothing to persuade him differently.

Sara had switched shifts after Dylan was born.  Grissom had cut back on his work hours so that one of them was always home with him.  They did have daycare but Sara didn't trust anyone else to raise their son.  So now they were like two ships passing in the night: Grissom came home in the morning just as Sara was about to depart for the day.  Although Grissom hated the distance in his marriage he liked the alone time with his son.  His love for Dylan had grown with each gurgle the boy made.

Grissom was working on a tough case, a murder of one of Las Vegas's elite.  His shift blended over to the day and Nick was kind enough to go to Sara and Grissom's to watch Dylan so that Sara could come into work.  Grissom was excited at the prospect of seeing Sara in the hallways or layout room.  It would be like old times; some big Sidle smiles, flirting, close enough to touch.  With a new found energy from his memories Grissom moved to the fingerprint lab to see if Jackie had any hits on a new set he discovered at the crime scene.  

He didn't find Jackie looking through a microscope instead Sara was there with a CSI from the day shift, Colin Matthews.  Colin was around Sara's age with jet-black hair and dark eyes.  He was movie star handsome; at least that's what Catherine had told Grissom.  Grissom smiled to himself as he watched Sara like a voyeur, unseen by their eyes.  His smile faded as Colin moved so that his body was nearly touching Sara's, just like Grissom use to.  Sara looked up from the microscope and flashed him a bright smile.  She said something Grissom couldn't hear then turned to face Colin fully.  She was standing just a few inches from his face.  Grissom's stomach twisted and then he felt a pain in his chest as he saw his wife straighten out Colin Matthews's collar on his denim shirt.

Grissom walked quickly to his office and slammed the door shut.  Then he let out his tears.

To be continued… (A twist I know but have faith.)


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Ripples in the Water 

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 4

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes:  Grissom is dealing with some personal demons that he would rather not share with his wife.  Thanks again for the reviews, you guys rock!

A knock on his door sent his head up from the crime scene photos he was looking at.  

"Hey," Sara said coming into his office.

She was smiling the same smile she had given Colin Matthews a few hours before.  Grissom had dried his tears and proceeded to jump back into work; there were people out there that needed him.

When he didn't answer she came close and raised her eyebrows.  "What's the matter?"  Worry then consumed her.  "Oh, God, did something happen to Dylan?"

"No, Dylan's fine."  His voice was taunt.

"Then why…"

"I'm not having a good day that's all."  He glared at the photos so that he wouldn't have to look at her.

"Grissom, are you not feeling well…again?"

Yeah, Sara I fell like getting out of here and driving to a bar and getting drunk, he thought.  I feel the need to do that because you are cheating on me with some young SOB, he wanted to scream.  He kept his thoughts inside.  "I'm fine…it's a tough case."

"Need any help?"  She moved behind him and leaned over to see the photos.  Her hair brushed his face.  Her arm was rubbing against his.  He felt the need to be close to her.  Then a fragrance filled his nostrils.  Cologne, male cologne.  His cologne.  Colin Matthews.  The man she's screwing behind his back.

Grissom pushed his chair back nearly knocking Sara over.  

"Gee, Griss, watch it."

"Get the hell out of my office!"  He stood now his chest moving up and down in anger.

Confusion was written on her face.  "What…I don't…Grissom?"

"Get out Sara, I can't look at you right now."

Her lips quivered but bending her head down she left the office.

Grissom paced outside the Crime Lab Headquarters.  He knew he had been disconnected to Sara lately.  They hadn't been intimate in a long time.  He had been the one to leave and head for a bar.  Grissom believed he was responsible for Sara straying.  He had pushed her away into another man's arms.  He felt guilty for his part in it.  He was hurt that she had been with someone else when she promised to be faithful to him.  Then again he reasoned he had broken his vows by separating himself from his son and wife.  They would get past this somehow.

He paced some more and then knew what he needed to do: forgive Sara.  He would never tell her he discovered the affair.  They would go on with their lives.

Grissom quickly walked back into the building and began scanning for his wife.  He finally found her in the locker room…with Colin.  It made Grissom pause for a second but with determination he ignored the younger man.

Colin had his arm around a crying Sara's shoulders.  "Um, hi," He said to Grissom.

Sara looked up at him.

"Can we talk privately?" Grissom asked.

"I'll be in the DNA lab if you need me," Colin said squeezing her shoulder before leaving.

Grissom sat down next to Sara.  "I'm sorry."

"Is that all you can say!  What was that all about?"  With a wet hand she pushed the hair from her eyes.

"I was angry at…someone.  I took that anger out on you."  

"What is happening to us, Griss?  We are never together anymore, you act so strange some times, I… how did we come to this?"

"I don't know but I want to find a way back together."  He put his hand on top of hers.

"That's what I want, too."

"Happy Birthday to you!"  A chorus of applause thundered in the small house.  Grissom kissed the cheek of his son who had just turned one year old.  

"Doc if you won't mind cutting the cake…" Sara started.

"It would be my pleasure."  Doc Robbins followed Sara into the kitchen to do the procedure.

"So Dylan, do you feel older, bud?"  Nick asked with a smile.

Sara came out with pieces of cake for everyone, Dylan getting his first.

Lindsay Willows, Catherine's daughter, eagerly ravaged into her piece and pulled back with a strange look on her face.  

"What's the matter, honey?"  Catherine asked.

"The cake," Lindsay began in a whisper, "it's…horrible."

"Oh, that's because of Dylan's milk allergy.  Sara had to be careful of what she put in the cake."

"What did she put in?" Lindsay said stressing the did.

Catherine chuckled.  "I know that various oils contain milk products and of course there is no butter.  Sometimes cakes are made with dry milk."

"I don't think I can eat it."

"Don't worry about it," Sara said behind them.  She was smiling as they turned.  "Grissom told me the cake was delicious but I can tell that it's really bad."

"That's Grissom for you- rather tell you what you want to hear than hurting you."  Catherine said it with a laugh but it hit Sara hard.  Sara's trust in Grissom and their marriage had wavered several times since Dylan's birth.  It had been a hard year.  Now though Dylan was beginning to talk and Grissom had become truly devoted to the child.

As Sara moved on passing out the cake she looked over at her son and husband.  Grissom was feeding Dylan his cake; Dylan was unable to hold a fork yet.  Grissom's face was bright with joy and Dylan was mirroring his dad.  

Grissom looked up and saw Sara watching him.  He smiled at her.  He knew that Sara still worked with Colin but no rumors had hit his ears.  She must have stopped the relationship.  The affair was in the past and he was ready to move on.  He was ready to truly give his heart to Sara again.  A shadow crossed over his view of Sara.  He nearly dropped Dylan's fork as he saw who embodied the shadow: Colin Matthews.  He was dressed in a tight black t-shirt to show off his muscles and faded jeans.  Colin began talking to Sara and Sara turned away from Grissom.  Grissom studied their interaction.  Colin was smiling, confident, using his eyes to express himself.  Sara's face was red-tinged and she seemed almost shy.  She smiled back at him.  Was it over?  Did she invite him to their son's party?

"Nick?"  He could barely get the name out.

Nick got up from his seat next to Dylan.  "Yeah…"

"Would you finish finding Dylan…I need to get some air."

"Sure," Nick said looking at him questionably.

Grissom quickly walked to the front door and began power walking down the street.  His heart felt constricted and his head was beginning a pounding dance.  Why was this happening?  Why now when he was finally ready to accept Dylan?

"Grissom!"  Sara's voice was calling out to him.

He kept walking.

He heard her running footsteps fast approaching.

He wanted to yell, to reveal what he knew but he couldn't, he couldn't do it.

Her hand grabbed his arm.  "Where are you going?"

"I'm…I'm getting a migraine, I thought I would take a walk."

She shook her head and gave him one of her 'you are weird' glances.  "Well, let me walk with you."  She wrapped her arm in his and smiled.  The same way she had for Colin Matthews.

Grissom's mind was churning with thoughts.  Does Colin think he's better than me?  A better lover?  Is that why Sara's still with him?  He had the urge to kiss her.  Not because he was full of love for her but because he wanted to prove something.  Prove that he was the one to set her body afire.  Just because Matthews was younger didn't matter.  Grissom knew what Sara wanted and how to give it to her.  She had just forgotten that because their sex life had become some barren desert.  He had to show her that he could still turn her on.  Maybe, maybe she would dump Matthews once and for all; he couldn't give her what she really wanted.

Grissom wasn't thinking too clearly.  His hurt was clouding his usually reliable judgment.

His lips reached hers and he kissed her hard, running his right hand through her hair.  He pushed his body against hers and put his left hand on the small of her back.  She was trying to speak but he wouldn't let her, he had to show her what he could do for her.  He put his hand underneath the back of her shirt and began a journey upward.

She pulled away from his grasp.  "Grissom," she started trying to catch her breath, "we are standing in front of our neighbor's house!  What are you thinking?"

"I want you."

"Now?  It's our son's birthday."  Sara looked at the peculiar expression on his face.  "Can't we continue this tonight when there are not twenty people in out house."  She tried to smile but his eyes looked odd to her and somewhere the smile got lost.

She doesn't want me, she only wants him.  Grissom closed his eyes and reopened them.  "Dylan will be wondering where we are."  He started off with a confused Sara behind him.

The next day Grissom had off and Sara had to report to work.  Grissom was trying to teach Dylan how to stand, a difficult procedure for the lad whose muscles were not providing much help.  Dylan was repeating "Da" over and over again in some way to please his father.  A knock on the door interrupted their together time.  

Putting Dylan back in his high chair, Grissom promised him he would get rid of whoever it was.  Jim Brass was standing on the doorstep.

"Jim, are you here to visit or is this work related?"

"Personal actually, may I come in?"

Grissom moved away from the door so he could enter.  

"Hey, Dylan how are you doing?"  Brass asked the tyke.  Dylan smiled.  "He's got Sara's smile, huh?"

"Yeah, it could lighten up a whole room.  So what's up?"  Grissom took a seat in his favorite chair.

Brass placed himself on the couch.  "Have you heard anything about Colin Matthews?"

Grissom swallowed and felt his heart beating quickly.  "Why?"

"Well, some news got to me today and I thought you deserved to know."

"Go ahead."

"Well, Matthews made a pass at Sara this morning and she…decked him.  Broke a front tooth."  Brass let a grin slip.  "That's some wife you have."

Confusion nagged at Grissom's mind.  Sara was or is having an affair with this guy, why would she hit him?

"You don't have one comment to make?"  Brass eyed Grissom.

"No."

"Okay, well I'll make one- they didn't sleep together."

Griss's head shot up.  

Brass nodded.  "Sara was right, she thought those ideas were churning through your head."

"I saw them together.  She was flirting and fixing his collar."  Anger was ebbing in Grissom's voice.

"I can see how that would upset you.  Sara did something wrong she acted like a single girl chatting with a cute guy.  She never was with him, though.  When he…um, asked, in not a nice way, she told him her answer with a fist.  She's a good person, Gil."

"How do you know this?"  Grissom was up from his seat and pacing.

"She told me."

Grissom looked at Brass; did they need a third party in their marriage now?

"Sara's outside Gil," Brass pointed to the door.  "You two need to talk, I'll watch Dylan."

Grissom in a dreamlike state found Sara crying in Brass's car.

She quickly got out of it.  "I'm so sorry."

"Sara…"

"I never thought…he was paying attention to me you weren't.  I thought it was harmless."

"Nothing is ever harmless it seems."

She rubbed at her eyes.  "I never had sex with him nor kissed him or anything like that.  I just flirted.  He made me feel special for a while.  God, what did I do!"

"Why did you hit him today?"  Grissom felt the need to give her a hug.

"He did something…let's just say he deserved it.  But I'm glad he did because it was like having a great awakening.  I realized what I was doing and put a stop to it."  Her body was racked with sobs.

He loved her.  It was pure and simple.  He wasn't mad anymore.  She hadn't done what he thought she had.  Wrapping his arms around her he whispered into her ear.  "There is no need to forgive you Sara.  Just next time you decide to flirt with a CSI, make sure it's me."

A laugh escaped from her mouth.

He pulled back.  "Let me see your hand."  He ran his fingers over it.  "You need some ice."

"I'm sorry Grissom…"

"Don't say that just…tell me you love me."

"I love you and only you."  

"I love you, too."  He kissed her lips gently.  "Now tell me what Colin did to you so I can go fire his ass and hire Greg and David to break the windows of his car."

Sara laughed.  "You're not his supervisor.  Greg and David wouldn't do that."

"Yes, they would, they both have had crushes on you."

"Break windows?  They didn't like me that much."

"True, I guess I'm the only one who would go to extremes for you."

"Yeah," she smiled brightly.

He kissed her and put his arms back around her.

Life was good for a while…

To be continued…(See I told you it's still romantic, next chapter starts nice and ends…you'll see)    


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Ripples in the Water 

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 5

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: Happy times are here again for Grissom and Sara as we span a little time but all goods things have to come to an end.

Grissom grunted as he pulled at the rope.  A live tree, that's what Sara had wanted and now they were going to have to struggle to put it up.  

"It's still too tall," Warrick Brown shook his head.  "Let me saw off another few inches."

Nick Stokes was holding the tilting tree securing it in its water basin.  "You know this tree is far too big for your living room."

"I told Sara that but," he directed his glaze at his wife, "she never listens to me."

"Gee, Sara I wonder how many CSIs it takes to put up a Christmas tree?"  Catherine smirked at the scene before her.

"Hey, if you think you can do better, help yourself," Nick tossed back.

Sara ignored the conversation and went back to feeding Dylan his applesauce.  He was a few months older now and starting to progress somewhat.  His speech had a tang to it, most likely a lisp forming and his words were simple, "Da, Ma, ba for bottle" but his smile was warm and he watched his parents every move.  Sometimes the hardest part was meeting another parents with kids in the grocery or discount store.  They tried to talk to Dylan like he was their child but Dylan couldn't respond like their kid.  Sara hated seeing the pity etched on their faces.  

"Finally!" Nick yelled when the tree stood still.  It was too large for the room, taking up nearly all the free space.

"Well you boys did all right although it took you forever." Catherine laughed.

"For" a little voice spoke.

"What?"  Sara looked down at her son.

Grissom approached Dylan quickly, "Dylan can you say that again?"

They all waited as if some explosion was about to happen.  Frozen they stood waiting for the child to speak.

His month moved but nothing came out.

"Catherine, would you say it again?"  Grissom asked.

"Forever."  Catherine pronounced it slowly.

"For."  Dylan spoke.

"Oh, Dylan!"  Sara threw her arms around the lad and couldn't contain her tears.  Grissom put his hand on Sara's back.

Any other child might not receive a reaction like that but Dylan's word was a triumph for him.

"Go little man."  Nick smiled at the tyke.

"Ma…man."  Came out of Dylan's mouth.

Exorbitant cries were heard through the small house.  "He's repeating what we say," Warrick shook his head in amazement.

"It's called parroting," Grissom spoke, "I read about it.  He doesn't know what he is saying but his vocal cords are learning how to form words and sound out phonetically. This is a huge step for him.  He's on the road to speaking, reading and writing."  Grissom kissed Sara's forehead.

"Say Nick.  Come on Nick."

"Dick."

"No, no, Nick."

Catherine couldn't contain her laughter.

"Nick."

"Dick."

"He's saying your name fine, don't correct him."  Warrick grinned.

Nick shot him a look.

"Okay, stop harassing our son," Sara smiled and put her arm around Grissom, "he's said enough for today."

Sara looked into Grissom's blue eyes, he shone back pure love.  Dylan had made an accomplishment maybe there was hope for him yet.  

Christmas morning Dylan had the most presents to open and he was proudly repeating "Santa" over and over again.  Grissom waited until Sara  thought the unwrapping was over before he presented her with a small box.

"Griss…"

"Just open it."

Unwrapping the silver paper carefully, Sara saw a small black box revealed.  She grinned first then opened the lid.  Inside there was a bracelet.  Sara took it out and examined it in the light.  There were various charms on it: a baby bottle, a flashlight, a bug, a house.  

"Grissom this is beautiful.  The charms are of all the things in my life.  The baby bottle represents Dylan, the flashlight is for being a CSI, I assume, the bug must be you and the house is our little adobe. I love it!  How did you find these charms?"

"I didn't find them, I made them with Greg's help."

Sara's eyes widened.

"You would be amazed at what Sanders knows."

"I love you," she said it softly and kissed his lips.

"I love you, too."  He pushed her hair back with his hand.  Things had changed; they were finally back together, back to being the Grissom and Sara who were desperately in love with each other.  

Dylan was sleeping in his playpen, rolled up into a ball.

Grissom kissed Sara's neck.  "Griss, Dylan's right here."

He pulled back with a chuckle.  "We can't wake him can we when he looks so peaceful, right?"

"Yeah, well we can't go to the bedroom right now."

"Why not?"  Grissom asked removing his glasses.

"Well, Dylan's not in his crib."

"So, he's sleeping in his playpen, it's similar to a crib."  Grissom began running his fingers through the fuzz at the back of her neck.

"I just don't feel it's safe…"

"This is a ranch style house, Sara.  There are no stairs.  We will still be right down the hall from him whether he is in his bedroom or the living room."  He swept his hand down the back of her shirt.

"Griss…damn you."  She smirked and helped him to his feet.

They nearly hadn't made it to the bed before they were caught up in the heat of it all.  Clothes thrown every which way.  Tongues, and hands exploring if on some ancient treasure hunt.  

"Grissom," she let out as he held her so.

Then through the fog of sex she had a strange feeling wash over her. 

Grissom sensed the change in her immediately. "What's wrong?"

"Dylan…" she started and then soon the cries entered both their ears.  They untangled themselves quickly, Sara grabbing a shirt from the dresser and throwing it on.

Dylan was on the floor of the living room.  A puddle forming from his tears.  

"Oh, God!"  Sara ran to him, her eyes picking up the playpen on its side.

"Is he hurt?"  Grissom asked reaching them.

"I don't know."  She felt his head, searched for any blood, tried to quiet him down.

"He looks okay but maybe we should bring him to the hospital."  Grissom put his fingers to his son's face.

"No," it was soft but there was no mistaking it.

"You…you don't want to go to the hospital?"  Sara asked.

"No, ine."

"What?" Grissom asked.

"Fine, is that what your trying to say, honey?"  Sara wiped his tears, hesitant to fully believe what he was saying.

"Fine." He looked to the playpen.  "Out."

"You wanted to get out?"  Grissom put his hand on Sara's shoulder.

Dylan didn't respond but the crying stopped.  With his good arm he pushed himself off the floor and for the first time on his own, stood.

"Oh, honey!" Sara yelled, covering her mouth.  Unlike other children his age, Dylan was until this point unable to stand, walk or say words that sounded as they should.  It was like a Christmas miracle coming true.

Dylan slept between them that night.  No hospital visit, he seemed fine indeed.  Grissom wondered if Sara had even slept for when he woke in the morning she was still starting at the child.

"He's going to make it Griss."

For the first time he truly believed it.  "Yes, he will.  I'm going to make some coffee.  You coming?"

"In a little bit."

As the water was beginning to boil, Grissom went into the messy living room.  They would have a lot to pick up later today, he thought.  He looked up at Evan's painting, still hanging above the couch.  Maybe his son would be lucky and make it.  Maybe it was possible. 

The ball did not reach his outstretched hand.

"It's okay, let's try again."  Sara ran and picked up the ball and tossed it back to Dylan.

Once again he could not catch it.

"Alright one more time and this time feel the wind as the ball is approaching you."  Sara smiled and repeated the procedure.

The white/blue ball again did not make contact with Dylan's hand.  "I can't Mommy!"  Tears welled up.

Sara bent down to his level.  "Hey, it's okay.  I'm sorry I'm pushing, huh?"

He shook his head.

"Mom's sorry, bud."  She kissed his cheek and grabbed his hand.  "Do you feel in the mood for an ice cream cone?"

Dylan's blue eyes lit up.  "Please."

They left the children's park and drove to a local ice cream parlor.  Dylan who was now five ordered a chocolate, sprinkled cone while Sara asked for a Mint Chocolate.  They sat down at a dark red picnic table outside the parlor.  Sara watched Dylan as he bit into the ice cream and reeled back from the cold hitting him.  He had progressed so much over the years: he could talk, walk, hold objects with his left arm.  He could recall the names of the ants Grissom had bought him.  

He was still a far ways away from being considered "normal".  His right arm hung mostly by his side and even with games like catch (that Sara had tried that day with him) the arm wouldn't work.  His vocabulary was low for coming from two highly intelligent people and some memory skills were lacking.  Ironically he was much better at social situations than his two parents and eagerly made friends with any kids he met.  

In two short weeks Dylan would be entering school, kindergarten.  The Grissoms could have kept him at home until he was seven but both wanted him to try school out.  They knew that he probably would have to repeat the grade but they were hopeful something would change.  

This was one of Sara's last times alone with Dylan.  She had used a vacation day to stay home with him while Grissom was busy pulling a double.  Their marriage had improved.  The intimate moments had come back, the understanding was there, they were a happy, little family.  Sara though felt one thing was missing and she was eager to bring the subject up to Grissom.  

A new t-shirt.  Grey with red stripes.  Gift from Nick.  Navy blue shorts.  Little, white shoes.  Dylan was set.  Set for his first day of kindergarten.  Grissom's hands shook as he tied Dylan's shoe.  The years had passed so quickly.  So many things had changed.  

"Ready, bud?"  Sara came into the room.  Grissom saw how she tried to wipe her tears away.

"Ready." Dylan smiled a great big Sara Sidle smile.  

"Let's go then," Grissom sighed and picked Dylan up.

"Daddy, I can walk."

"Can I carry you to the car, please?"  Grissom looked at the young boy.

Dylan shook his head yes.

Sara trailed behind carrying Dylan's small blue backpack.

At the school Dylan was already making friends fast; he walked up to three boys and introduced himself.  Sara held on to Grissom's hand and tried her best not to cry.  It became even more difficult when the bell rang signaling the beginning of the school day.  Sara kissed Dylan's cheek and told him she loved him and would see he later in the afternoon.  Grissom patted his son's back and spoke to the teacher, "You have our number if you need us for…anything."

They both couldn't resist looking back at him one more time before exiting.  Dylan was already sitting in a circle and beaming.

Grissom sat at the kitchen table absorbed in the paper.  No phone call yet so things must been okay for Dylan.  Sara was sitting across from him working on some paperwork.

Sara had been waiting for the right moment to bring up the subject and now seemed like the perfect time.  "Griss?"

He looked up from the paper.

"Now that Dylan is in school maybe…I mean I think it's time we planned to have our second child."  She wasn't sure why she so nervous to bring this conversation up.

Grissom put down the paper.  "Sara, we have enough to deal with."

"Dylan's doing fine."

"Fine for someone with brain defeats, yes.  Is he far behind other kids his age?  Definitely.  We need to focus our attention on Dylan not a new baby."

She rubbed her head.  Sometimes he confounded her so much.  "Don't you want another child?  Another wonderful Dylan?"

It was the last question that struck him.  Did he want another learning-disabled child?  Should they risk having that again?  Wouldn't it just make life harder?  "No, I don't want another child."

Sara was not budging.  "How can you say that?  Dylan is the best thing that happened to us!"

"Get out of the dream world, Sara."  He could see the hurt in her eyes as he said it.  "Look I love Dylan but…"

"Sometimes I wonder if you do."  She pushed her chair back and rose.

Anger brimmed inside of Grissom.  "How can you say that?  Of course I love him."

"You have a funny way of showing it.  You hardly bothered with him after he was first born."  She ventured into the living room, Grissom hot on her heels.

"Hey, I didn't even want a kid!"  He couldn't believe he had told her like that.

She turned her face a mixture of emotions.  "How…you wanted Dylan…you…"

Softly he said, "No, I didn't want a child but you did so…"

"You just went along with it!"  She closed her eyes and reopened them.  "So you lied to me."

"I didn't lie.  I don't do that."

"No, I forgot your Mr. Perfect."

He bit at his lower lip.  "Well you've made mistakes in this marriage, too.  Don't put all the blame on me."

She shook her head to clear her thoughts.  "Of course you have to bring up Colin.  Nothing happened!  I thought you believed that."

"I thought I did, too."  Grissom wasn't sure where these words were coming from almost like his subconscious doing the talking for him.

"You think…you think I had an affair?" Her voice wavered.

"Well you flirted so anything's possible."

"This is great what kind of marriage do we have when we can't be honest with each other."

"Sometimes I wonder that."  He moved closer to her and listened, as his mouth spoke what was not in his heart.  "Sometimes I wonder why we are even together."

It was the finally straw for Sara.  "You are a bastard.  For years you treat me with disrespect…"

"How did I do that?"

"Ignoring me."

"I wasn't ready for a relationship."

"Well are you ready now?"

He stood mute searching for words he could not find.

Tears fell down the curves of Sara's face.  "I love you Gil Grissom.  I always have.  I want this marriage to work but you have to want it to work, too."  She grabbed her purse and started out the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to just drive around a little, clear my head."  With that the door closed behind her.

He sat on the couch starting at a moisture ring left of the coffee table.  He couldn't take this.  It was too much to deal with. The phone rang and he hurriedly picked it up fearing it was about Dylan.

"Hello."

"Um, hi is Sara there?"

"If this is about our son, please tell me," Grissom said worry in his throat.

"Oh, this isn't about Dylan.  Um, is Sara there?"  

Grissom knew the male voice was familiar but he couldn't place it.  "She isn't here, can I take a message."

"No, I'll catch up with her later, thanks."  With that the sound of the connection being broken buzzed in Grissom's ear.

He replaced the phone in its cradle.  The investigator in him was trying to place together the clues.  The voice, who was it?  Some guy that he had heard before.  Why did he want to talk to Sara?  Why didn't he leave his name?  He knows who Dylan is.  He'll "catch up with her later"?  What is that about?

Thoughts swirled in Grissom's brain until he came to one conclusion: Sara was having an affair with some other guy.  He knew then what he needed to do.

Sara walked into the house two hours later.  She saw Grissom sitting at the kitchen table.  She had spent the time thinking about their relationship and the ups and downs it had.  But she knew one thing: she loved that man too much to give up on him or them. 

"Hey," she said when he didn't look up.

"Sara take a seat."  He pointed to across from him.

Sara sat down.  "Grissom I…"

"I'm not in love with you anymore.  I want a divorce."

The air felt like it had been sucked out of her lungs.  She grabbed the table to keep herself steady.  "What…you can't mean that."

"I'll be moved out by the end of the week."  He got up from the table and grabbed his coat.  "I've already called Jim.  I'm going to stay over his house tonight."

She watched, as if some horrible nightmare had taken over her life, Grissom leaving out the front door.  Then she let herself cry.

To be continued… (We start back at the beginning of this story- Grissom saying goodbye to his family.  Don't give up on them yet.)


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Ripples in the Water 

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 6

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: A depressing end last time, I know and this chapter is not much better but hold on because everything will be fine, I promise.  Thanks again for the reviews, they keep me going.

He stood outside waiting for Dylan to be dismissed.  He was numb.  He had just moved temporary into Jim's and had asked Sara for a divorce.  She had found someone else and had moved on, now it was time for him to do that as well.  

All these thoughts ran through Grissom's mind.  Here it was Dylan's first day of kindergarten and he would be going home to a changed house.  Grissom did feel bad about that; he hadn't thought everything out before he gave the Sara the statement of divorce.

He watched as a Tahoe like his own pulled up into a parking space a few feet away.  Catherine got out first, she was the driver.  Sara exited the passenger seat and nearly lost her balance.  She came clearer into focus as they walked closer to where Grissom was parked.  Sara's eyes were heavy looking and her face looked drained of color.  

Grissom breathed deeply and put his hand on the handle of the door.  He swung out in one fluid motion and met with them before they walked into the school.

"Catherine, Sara," he addressed both of them as if they were friendly acquaintances.

"You bastard, you fucking bastard!" Catherine's face was scrunched in fury.

"Not now, not here," Sara's voice pleaded.  She rested one hand on Catherine's shoulder.

Grissom let his eyes fall to the asphalt in front of him.

"I always thought you were a good man but I can see I was dead wrong."  Catherine turned from him and putting her hand on Sara's back lead her inside.

Grissom sighed and waited a minute, then proceeded to follow.

Dylan came running out to greet them.  "Mommy, Daddy!"  He stopped short as he looked at Sara's face.  "Mommy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, sweetie."  She bent down to his level and stroked his hair.  "Did you have a good first day?"

"Yeah," he said but some of the excitement was gone from his voice.  His eyes scanned the scene in front of him looking at his mother, Aunt Catherine, and his dad.  He knew something was wrong.

"Dylan, can I talk to you alone?"  Grissom half smiled at the boy.

"No!"  Sara pointed at him.  "If you are going to do this I'm going to be there."

"I just was…"

"Don't tell me what you're going to do.  You met us at the house, not here."  Her breath was coming in gulps.

"Okay, I'll drive Dylan there."

"No, you're not taking him."

"Sara, I have every right to."  

"You just gave up a lot of your rights."  Tears started coming but she pushed them away with a swipe of her hand.

"Come on, bud, let's go home."  She picked up the boy and carried him out, this time he didn't protest.

Catherine glared at Grissom and followed.

Slowly Grissom made it to his SUV and began the drive to his former home.

Grissom wasn't sure he should knock or just go in- Sara, Catherine and Dylan had already arrived.  He didn't have to wonder for long.  

Catherine pulled open the door saying, "Get in here."

"Daddy."  Dylan said with a slight smile but not in his usual manner.

"Sweetie, would you show Aunt Catherine you're new dinosaur?  Daddy and I need to talk."  Sara put her hand on his shoulder.

"Okay…in here," he pointed and took off with Catherine in hot pursuit.

"Um, I would like to bring Dylan for an ice cream cone now to celebrate his first day of school," Grissom started.

"You're not taking him anywhere."

"Sara, he's my son you can't keep him from me."

"Then get a lawyer and sue me."  Her voice shook with anger.

"I'm sorry I told you this today."  He pushed his curls back with his hand.

Sara plopped herself at the kitchen table.  "You're sorry.  Sorry for ruining Dylan's first day or sorry for fucking up our lives?"

Grissom stayed silent.

"If you don't love me anymore," tears trickled down, "that's fine but for God's sake Grissom think of what this will do to Dylan. He already does not have a normal life and now you destroying it further."

"Would you rather I stay here with all this tension in the air?"

Sara got up and grabbed a tissue.  "I don't know what I want you to do."

"This is for the best, Sara.  We have had so many problems…it just wasn't going to work."  

"Gee, I never thought you were a quitter."  She wiped her tears away and sat back down.

He took the seat across from her.  "I would like to explain to Dylan what is happening."

"Good, maybe you can explain it to me, too."

Grissom sighed.  "Can I please ask Dylan to come in here?"

"Sure, go ahead, you can break the kid's heart."  She paused to look at him, the man she loved who was acting like a stranger. "Dylan!" she yelled the name and soon heard a thunderous banging of little feet hitting the floor.

Dylan stopped dead when he saw his parents at the kitchen table.  

"Dylan, I have something to tell you," Grissom started.

Instinctively Catherine, who had just entered the scene, put her arm around Dylan as some sort of protection over what he was about to hear.

"Things are going to change around here," Grissom wetted his lips, "I'm going to live somewhere else.  You'll be able to see me."

"Mommy…"  Dylan's eyes were wide.

"It's okay, sweetie, Mommy is not going anywhere."  Sara put on a smile as an actor playing a scene.

"Daddy loves you it's just…"  Grissom could not find the right words.  What had his father said to him all those years ago?  What words had he used when he left?  "I need to leave."  It was haunting to hear your father's words come out of your mouth.  Grissom rubbed at his lips as if to see if he were actually speaking or if his father was there.

Dylan didn't speak he just stared ahead at his parents.  

"Dylan, why don't we get an ice cream cone together?" Grissom tried to add a smile.

Dylan shook his head no.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"  Grissom didn't receive a response.  He slowly rose from the chair and left the house behind him.

Jim was waiting for him at his place.  "What the fuck is the matter with you?"

Grissom breathed in deeply.  "You said I could stay here."

"Yes, I'm trying to be a friend but I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I think this is the right decision.  You have screwed up your life.  Don't you see that!  Even if by some miracle you two get back together you now have all this water under the bridge.  It's not going to be the same."

Grissom removed his glass and placed them in his plaid shirt pocket.  "Jim, I know this sounds sudden but it has been building for years.  Sara has been in denial over Dylan's condition since the beginning.  Do you know how hard it is to live with someone who thinks everything is just fine and dandy when your stomach is always in knots and you know the truth of the situation?"

Brass took a seat in a worn easy chair.  "Maybe you two need consoling then."

"That is not going to help.  Sara doesn't see things like I do, Jim."

"That's not a good enough reason to give up on your marriage."

"What if Sara is having an affair again?"

Brass put his hand out in a stop motion.  "Wait, wait a minute.  Sara didn't have an affair with Colin Matthews.  She made some mistakes there but there is a big difference from garnering a little attention and having a wild affair.  Now what makes you think she is cheating on you?"

Grissom took a seat in an adjacent chair.  "A man called today looking for Sara.  I recognized the voice but couldn't place my finger on who it was.  He said that he would catch up with Sara later."

Brass chuckled.  "That's an affair?  Where is the evidence my friend?  Show me some proof."

"I figured out who it was."

"Who the man was?  One of the lab techs, right?"  Brass scratched at his chin.

"No," Grissom touched his wedding finger, "it was Eric St. John."

"Who?"

"Eric St. John, Sara's old boyfriend."

Brass rubbed his eyes.  "Have you ever met this guy, cause I surely don't know him."

Grissom shook his head.  "I met him a few years ago.  Sara dated him after college."

"And you still recognized his voice?  Gil, that is absurd."

"It was a distinct voice and yes, Jim, I never forget anything."

"Okay, so say this is Sara's ex calling her.  What's wrong with that?"

"He knew about Dylan.  We didn't have Dylan when we saw him.  Sara has been in touch with him."  He looked up at Brass.  "She never told me, Jim.  Why?  There is only one answer, something is going on between them."

"You know I think you have low self esteem.  You can't fathom why a great woman like Sara would love you so you make up these reasons for you to be apart."

"No, I'm not…"

"Easy solution to all of this, I'll call Sara."

"Jim…"

Brass picked up his phone and quickly dialed the number.  "Sara, it's Jim.  I'm sorry to bother you but…I have a question."  Silence for a moment.  "Okay, are you having an affair?"

"Jim!"  Grissom jumped from his seat and watched the smart alec grin that was on Brass's face fade.

"Oh, um…yeah, bye."  Brass put the phone back into the receiver.

"What did she say?"

Brass avoided his eyes.  "She said, "Yeah, I am, why?", I'm sorry Gil."

Grissom closed his eyes and felt the pounding begin in his head.

"Sara, what was that about?"  Catherine sipped her apple juice.

"Oh, that was Brass calling for Grissom.  He wanted to know if I was having an affair."  Sara said.

"Wait a minute, didn't I hear you say "yeah"?"

Sara nodded her head.  "If it makes Grissom feel better. Like he is justified in this divorce, let him believe that.  He doesn't believe me about Colin anyways."

Catherine put her hand on Sara's.  "Think about what you just told him though.  That's cruel."

"He's being cruel to me, he deserves to suffer a little."

"Sara…"

"Do you know that boys who come from divorced homes have a tendency for problems with drugs, alcohol, and violence?"

Catherine sighed.  "I don't think that's true."

"Oh, yes it is.  Grissom has hurt Dylan and I'm never forgiving him for that."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=

Grissom sat outside in his Tahoe.  He stared at the house he had just left.  He felt the urge to go back inside and ask for forgiveness.  Something stopped him though.  He turned the engine on and slowly started up determined not to look in the rearview mirror.

From within the home a young boy was crying his head buried in his mother's arms.  A mother kneeling down, holding her child and wondering what would come next closed her eyes to shut out the pain.  Grissom was gone, he had packed up his things and left.  There was nothing she could do, nothing but hold her son.

To be continued… (I know, I know a tissue chapter but the next one has some good moments.  There will be a happy ending.)


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Ripples in the Water 

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 7

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: Sad last chapter but this one has some lighter moments as Grissom and Sara work at coming up from the depths of despair.

Three months.  Three months that Dylan had been in school.  Three months since Grissom moved out but still no divorce.  Sara pulled her hair back with a clip and took inventory of herself in front of the long mirror.  She was changed, she had lost her smile, no light danced in her eyes, she felt colorless.  The dress looked good though, a flowered print that hung nicely on her slight frame.  Nick had warned her that Grissom was still planning on attending but she couldn't miss out on Nicky's big day.

The doorbell rang interrupting her thoughts.  

She answered to find a handsome gentlemen. "You ready?"  Greg asked.  

"We just have to wait for the babysitter, come on in."  She moved back so Greg could enter.

Dylan bounded out to greet him.  "Uncle Greg!"

"Hey, Dill pickle juice, you be good while Mommy and I are gone."

"Okay."  The boy smiled as the doorbell rang again.

"That must be Janice."  Sara pulled back the door but instead of a 60-year-old woman she saw Gil Grissom.  His suit was navy and brought out the blue in his eyes.  

"Hi, Sara."

"Daddy!"  Dylan yelled trying with his one arm that worked to hug his father.

"We need to get going, Nick is expecting his best man."  Greg put a protective hand on Sara's arm.

Grissom had become use to this.  Work was now strained since he left Sara.  Warrick hardly spoke to him, Greg was just courteous, and both Nick and Catherine had given him a share of deadly looks.  Doc Robbins had tried to stay neutral; the morgue became the only place that felt like home.  Jim Brass was kinder to him since learning of Sara's affair, seeing Jim had been through something similar.

"Oh, you two are going together?  I just wanted to see if you needed a ride."

"I'm fine."  Sara's eyes narrowed.

"Okay, well then I'll see you at the wedding."  He kissed Dylan's forehead.  "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Daddy."  Dylan waved.

"Are you okay?"  Greg looked into her eyes.

"Yeah…why does he do that?  Act nice one minute and then closes off to me the next?"

Greg shook his head.  "I don't know."

"Janice," Dylan said pointing to the small car approaching the front.

"Come on we have a wedding to attend."  Greg smiled.

Sara had trouble returning the expression.

It was a beautiful early December wedding.  Nick looked extremely happy as he and Tina greeted everyone at the reception hall.  Grissom watched them thinking of his own wedding to Sara.

"Marry me, Sara."

"What?"

"Marry me, I love you, we need to be together."

"Oh, Griss."

They needed to be together and now they were apart.

"What type of flowers do you want at the wedding, Griss?'

"It doesn't matter.  I just can't wait to say, "until death do us part", Sara."

Grissom got up from his table with Brass, Doc Robbins, his wife and Bobby D and his girlfriend.

"Where are you going?"  Brass asked.

"I just need some air."  He didn't bother to take his coat; he started outside, his head bent down.  Out of the corner of his eye, something caught his attention.  Raising his head at first he couldn't make out what it was in the distance.  Pulled to discover this mystery he sped up his walk.  Shortly his vision cleared so that he saw a figure in a flower dress gazing up at the clouds.

"Sara."  He said it as he approached from behind.

She turned and saw him.  "Needed some air, too?'

She knew him better than anyone.  "Yes, I did."  He paused, not sure what he should say.  "We are both foolish, we didn't grab our coats."

"Yeah," she agreed.

"What are you looking at?"  He moved so that he was standing next to her.

"The clouds, it will probably rain later today."

"Yes, I believe it is suppose to."  He kicked at a stone in front of him.  "At least it was nice for Nick and Tina's wedding."

She nodded.

"Made me think of our wedding."  He saw her turn and look at him.  "That was a beautiful day."

Sara sniffled.  "It was."

They stood silent for a few minutes.  Then Grissom asked, "Did you get the letter from the school?"

"Dylan's IEP meeting?  Yes, I did.  It is next week."

"I would like to attend it as well."

Sara pulled at a string on the dress.  "Good, you should be there."

Grissom noticed the string.  "Let me get that."  His hands brushed against her stomach as he ripped out the string.  "You better go in your arms have goose bumps on them."

She didn't tell them that it wasn't from the cold.  "Yeah, I better."  She left him standing there and quickly found Nick at the reception.  

"Hey, what's the matter?"  he asked.

"I need to go, I'm sorry."

"That's fine, is everything okay?"

Her eyes welled up.  "I just was talking to Grissom.  God, I love him so even after all this.  I felt the shivers because he touched me.  Oh, Nick, I don't know what to do."

Nick sighed.  "Just give it time.  Let's see where Greg is to give you a ride home."

"If you need a ride, I'll give you one."  Grissom entered the scene.  "Maybe I could visit with Dylan."

"Um, that's okay…"  Sara started.

"Think of me as a taxi, you can even sit in the backseat."  Grissom grinned and Sara felt her heart melt.

"Okay.  Congrats Nicky." She hugged him and walked out with Grissom.

Archie, drink in hand, walked up to Nick.  "Hey, they're leaving together.  What does this mean?"

Nick replied, "I don't know."

They sat in silence in the Tahoe on the drive to the house.  Grissom had turned on the radio as a sort of barrier between them.  A rock group played a love song as he pulled in front of the house.  

"Thanks for the ride."  Sara stared ahead, determined not to look in those blue eyes.

"Your welcome."  The engine was still running and his hands were grasping the wheel tightly.  You are getting divorced, you shouldn't go in, you told you don't want to live there, don't go in.

"Do you want to come in…to see Dylan?"  Sara wondered why she was being nice, was it because she felt that certain chemical reaction when she was around him or was it because a wedding happened and she was in a romantic mood.  Part of her wanted to tell him to move back in, while the other part just wanted to scream at Grissom, to ask him how he could be nice after he broke her heart.

"Sure," he found himself saying.

Dylan was playing dinosaur attack with poor Janice who was sitting on the floor with him.  "Daddy, Mommy!"  A big smile appeared on the tyke's face at the sight of his parents coming into the house together.

Janice left with a wink at Sara and Grissom took her place on the floor.

"Your suit is going to be a mess."  Sara let a smile slip.

"That's okay, I don't dress up often as it is."  He removed the tie and coat though.

"I think I'll change into some more comfortable clothes."

"Okay."  Grissom pushed his dino into the major fight Dylan was creating.

Sara went into her bedroom and removed the clip from her hair.  What are you doing having him here?  He had hurt her so much and Dylan as well but she loved him and love clouds one's vision.  Sara quickly changed into jeans and a gray sweater.  She looked down at her jewelry box which held her wedding ring and charm bracelet that Grissom had given her.  Gliding her fingers over the charms, she felt like crying.  She wanted Grissom to come back, she wanted that.

Sara found Grissom and Dylan laughing as they had one dino after another fight each other.  "Can mothers take part or do we have to just observe?"

"Join us," Grissom said with a smile.

Taking a place beside Dylan, Sara grabbed a winged dinosaur and began flying over the scene.  She angled the giant bird to attack the T-Rex which happened to be Grissom's dinosaur.  Grissom launched back at her until they were both in a struggle.

"Mommy, don't let go."

Sara held on and so did Grissom, determination written on both of their faces.  Finally Grissom got the upper hand and with all his might pushed the dinosaur.  The dinosaur fell backwards along with the person holding him.  Grissom fell forward on top of Sara.  They all laughed.

Grissom looked down into Sara's eyes.  She wasn't asking him to get off of her, that must be a good sign.  It felt close to her once again and against his better judgment he sweetly kissed her lips.

Sara returned the kiss with one of her own.  

"Daddy, your turn."

"Yeah, hold on Dylan."  He breathed in deeply and removed himself.

He looked back at Sara who was sitting up now but had a small smile on her face.  If he didn't stop this now, he would find himself back there at the house.  But would that be that bad?  Grissom, like Sara, had pushed some of the bad memories away; their connection to each other being the greater force at the moment.

They played with Dylan for a while longer than he grew tired and took a nap.

They were unsure of what to say or do.  Sara was fidgeting and Grissom stood with his hands in his pockets.

"Dylan had fun."  Sara started the conversation.

"Yes, he did.  I had fun, too."

"What was your favorite part?"  Sara felt her heart beat rising.

Grissom smiled, "Kissing you."

They both moved in closer and kissed once again, deeper this time.

"Sara, what are we doing?"

"I love you, I've never stopped."

"This won't fix our problems."

"We can get help."

"Sara, I left you…"

"I haven't forgiven you for that, and I don't know how I'll ever forgive you for hurting Dylan but…Grissom I still want you to be my husband."  Tears swayed at her eyes.

Grissom wiped them away with his fingers and kissed her again.  Their arms wrapped quickly around each other.  This is right, Grissom thought, this has to be.  His hands found their old familiar resting spot at her waist.  His sense of joy was marred by a name that popped into his brain, Eric St. John.  Sara wasn't his, not while she was sleeping with someone else.  He broke quickly away from her and backed up a few steps.

"Why did you stop?"  Sara breathed heavily.

"We can't do this, we are not together anymore."

"Grissom, I love you, that hasn't changed.  Okay, we shouldn't sleep together right now, you're right.  We have a lot of things to work out."

"I don't want to work them out."  His voice carried no emotion.

"What?"  

"We're over, Sara.'

"But we…Grissom, you still love me I can feel it in your kiss."

"That's not enough."

Sara pushed her hair back with her hand.  "It is a start."

"I have to go," he turned back to the door.

"Griss, please don't give up on us.  I should hate you after what you said and did but I don't.  Come back to us, come back home."  She had poured out her heart to him.  She was willing to take him back, to love him again, to rebuild their lives.

"I'm sorry, Sara."  He pulled open the door, inhaled and closed it behind him.

To be continued…(Where love still resides, there is hope.  Next chapter up Friday, I hope.)


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Ripples in the Water 

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 8

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: If you have never been to an IEP meeting, this is what one is like (at least in my district).  Thanks again for the reviews and things are slowly starting to get better.

Coffee was set up on a nearby table but she didn't feel like taking any.  He was late, late to their son's IEP meeting. Anger was brewing and she kept her fingers curled around the cloth chair in order to keep it in check.  "I'm sure he'll be here any minute." She said it with a smile but bore anger inside.

He rushed in then, fixing his glasses on his face and taking a seat.  "I'm sorry," he looked first at Sara's face and then at the school officials.  "I specialize in bugs and a case came up where…"

"Can we get started," Sara said interrupting him, "seeing you need to get back to work."

"That would be fine," Dylan's teacher interjected.

"Okay, I'll start with the introductions.  My name is Hanna Kincaid; I'm the Special Education Coordinator here.  I work with grades K and 1."

"You don't deal with the upper grades?" Grissom questioned.

"No, we have two more coordinators who evaluate students in 2, 3 and 4, 5 respectively. "

"So there are many special education kids here?"  Grissom asked.

"There are many special kids all over." Mrs. Kincaid emphasized the special.

"Well, guess it's my turn.  You know me, Diane Rubin, Dylan's teacher."  Sara and Grissom smiled.

"I'm last I guess," the red headed man let out a laugh, "I'm Paul Chambers, the Guidance Consoler here."

Mrs. Kincaid wrote something on her pad.  "Our Speech Pathologist is unable to attend, a family emergency but Annie left us her written report and I will read it later.  Josh Berkins, our OT/PT person will be here shortly, he had another IEP meeting to attend."

"OT/PT means occupational therapy/physical therapy?" Sara asked.

"Yes, I'm sorry you get so use to speaking the jargon you forget to explain what it means."  Mrs. Kincaid pulled out a large manila folder.  "First please sign your names on this sheet."  

A paper was placed in front of Sara and Grissom.  They hesitantly signed it.

"Now let's talk about how Dylan is doing right now and what goals we want to set for him in the future.  First of, academics."  Mrs. Kincaid nodded her head as some secret code to Dylan's teacher.

"Dylan is a wonderful young man," she began as both parents smiled.  "He can remember placement, ideas, about 6 times out of ten."

As Mrs. Rubin spoke, Mrs., Kincaid hurriedly wrote in the manila folder.

"His oral language skills are lacking.  He can tell the difference of some constant clusters but has trouble with vowel placement.  Dylan has…"

Mrs. Rubin continued but Grissom couldn't hear her.  His mind was swirling with the teacher language thrown at him.  He understood what she was saying for he had read up on the subject but was at a lost for what it all meant.  Could they help Dylan or not?

The meeting continued for another hour with Mrs. Kincaid franticly scribbling, Mrs. Rubin telling them what Dylan could do which was low compared to his peers, listening to the OT/PT person who had finally arrived give his report.  Sara felt like crying but she couldn't let herself in front of these strangers.

The jest of the IEP meeting was that Dylan was below level, that he would be put on an Indivualized Enrichment Plan, that he would have accommodations made, that he would be graded differently than everyone else, that he would not be normal.  

Mrs. Kincaid held up the written IEP.  "Last thing, as his parents what are your goals for Dylan?"

Sara and Grissom looked at each other.  Grissom addressed the team, "We just want him to be able to do the best that he can."

Mrs. Kincaid smiled.  "We will type this up for you and you will be given a copy each.  You are still living at separate addresses?"

Sara looked at the floor.  "Yes."

"Okay, are there any questions you have?"

Grissom began.  "Why does Dylan need a guidance consular?"

Mr. Chambers sighed.  "He is going through a difficult time.  If he needs someone to talk to I'll be there."

"A difficult time?  With school?"  Grissom asked.

They exchanged looks.  Chambers spoke, "Not with school, not this year.  No, he's having problems dealing with your separation."

"He's said that?"  Sara looked exasperated.

"Yes, he talks with me a few times a week."

"Why were we not informed of this?"  Grissom grew angry.

"Mr. Grissom, all children are allowed to speak with me if they just want to tell me about their new puppy or something more important.  I did not go to him, he came to me."

"He went to you?"  Grissom could not believe that his son choose to tell his problems to someone outside their circle of friends.  He could have talked to Nick or Catherine.  But he didn't.  Grissom realized that Dylan did not want his parents to know he was upset; he was trying to protect them.

"Is there anything we can do for him?"  Sara felt the perspiration at her neck.

"Just reassure him that you love him, tell them that although you may not be together you will always be there for him.  Children need security."  Chambers straightened his tie.

Mrs. Rubin asked, "Any other questions?"

"You have said what Dylan is capable now and what his goals are but the goals seem rather easy to reach.  They seem to be just basic stuff he should be able to do."  Sara shifted in her seat.

"Nothing will be easy for Dylan.  These goals or benchmarks are challenging for him, he might not reach them and if he doesn't we will modify the IEP."

"Not easy, Mrs. Kincaid?  How can that be?"  Sara picked up on the IEP sheets and read; "Dylan will be able to write a sentence with a subject and verb.  That is supposed to be a challenge?"

"It will be a challenge for him.  With the type of brain injury he has and the doctor records we have been given, it will take Dylan a long time to form a complete sentence.  Most children can write complete sentences by the end of first grade.  So for Dylan it will probably take until third to master it."

Sara bit at her lip.  Grissom fumbled with his fingers, not sure what to say.

"So are you telling me that Dylan will forever be behind his peers?"  Sara asked.

"Bluntly, yes," Kincaid started, "We will modify his education so that he will progress and learn.  I predict he will do quite well…"

"But he'll never be doing the same work as everyone else."  The words came softly out of Sara's mouth.

"Yes."  Kincaid stopped with that statement.

"Thank you for being honest."  Grissom felt he had to contribute something.  "Have you completed the intelligence test on him?"

"Yes, we have," Mrs. Rubin took over, "I'm afraid he didn't score that well."

"What was his average?"

Mrs. Rubin sighed as she looked at the sheet in front of her.  "His IQ is at 86.  He is slightly above mentally challenged."

Sara stood up.  Her breath was coming rapidly out of her throat.  "I'm sorry, I need some air."  She hurried out of the conference room.

"I better follow her, excuse me."  Grissom left.

He found her outside by a tree in the recess yard.  She was shaking uncontrollably, her whole body moving with her tears.  Grissom put his arms around her and held her tight to his chest.  He spoke in a soothing tone trying to reassure her that everything would turn out all right.

Eventuality she raised her head.  "You knew this all along, didn't you?"

Grissom nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You weren't ready to listen."

She wiped at her eyes and he handed her a handkerchief.  "God, they must think I'm some emotional sap.'

"I think they are use to this type of reaction."  Grissom pushed back her hair with his hand.

"Poor Dylan.  He'll never be normal."

"No."

"What are we going to do?  How can we help him?"

"We can love him."  Grissom gave her a small smile.  "Come on, let's go visit with our boy and then I'll take you home."

"I have my car here.'

"You are in no condition to drive."

"Then I probably shouldn't see Dylan either."  She pressed her palms to her face obscuring it.

Grissom could hear her tears again.  "Maybe we shouldn't visit Dylan right now, let me just take you home.  I'll ask Nick and Warrick if they would get your Tahoe when they're heading to work, okay?"

She shook her head.  With a guiding hand, he led her to his waiting vehicle.

Her fingers, clumsy from stress, created difficulty when fastening her seat belt.  Grissom reached over and pushed it into place until he could hear the snap.

"Thanks," she managed to get out.

He started the engine and begin heading for the destination.  "You know some kids improve by leaps and bounds when they are in a loving environment."

"Poor Dylan he's really fucked then."

"Sara…"

"Sorry, sorry, I guess I'm just cranky right now."

"You're upset."

"Yes, are you?"  She looked at him.

"Yes but I've had more time to prepare.  I realized right away what life for Dylan would be like."

"I guess you were right, I was living in some fantasy."  She turned her gaze to the streets they were passing.

"Fantasies are not awful to be in.  Just not realistic."  Grissom breathed deeply.

"Thank God you're a realist."  The sarcasm was not lost on him.

They sat in silence until the house approached.  "We're home."  He let it slip out without a conscious thought.

"One of us is."  Sara rubbed at her forehead.  

"I'm sorry about today, Sara." He reached over and lightly touched her shoulder.

"Me, too."  She started out of the Tahoe and then stopped.  "Grissom, would you like to stay for dinner?  I need a ride to pick up Dylan from school anyways."

"Do you really want me to?"  He was surprised at the invitation.

"Yeah, we are both upset.  We both love Dylan.  Maybe we need to be together tonight."

"Um, Sara…"

"I don't mean it that way," she couldn't help but smirk, "I meant dinner, you know food that is eaten around 6 o'clock."

"I've heard of the concept."  He smiled back.  What the hell?  They could both commiserate for the rest of the afternoon and then he could pick Dylan up from school and have dinner.  Then off to work.  What could be bad about that?

Shutting the SUV off, Grissom exited the vehicle and walked beside Sara to the front door.

Inside he saw a mess on the kitchen table, plaster mix, paper, paint.  "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Oh, Greg told Dylan about a volcano that he made when he was Dylan's age.  So of course Dylan wants a volcano so I'm making it for him."

"Can I help?"

"Sure, let me get out of this suit."

"That's a lovely suit on you Sara."

She tried to avoid his eyes.  "Thank you."

She changed quickly avoiding looking in the mirror and the horrible reflection that would be staring back at her.  When Sara returned to the kitchen, Grissom had already put together one side of the volcano.

"Having fun?"

He smiled as he looked up.  "Yes, I am."

She sat down at the other side of the kitchen and began stirring the plaster mix.  

"Sara, why don't you grab yourself a glass of wine and relax a little.  You've had a stressful day."

"Maybe I should."  She left the table and grabbed a bottle of Bordeaux from the cupboard.  "Would you like a glass?"

"Better not, I have to pick Dylan up in a little bit."  His eyes were fixed on a patch of paper that would not stay flat.

Sara sipped the wine and watched Grissom work.  Her heart ached to have him back at the house even though it was only temporary.  She loved to see him engrossed in a project:  glasses half on his nose, tongue poking slightly out of his mouth, glint of energy in his eyes.  She missed him.  Missed not having him at home, missed not waking up beside him, missed not talking to him, missed being a family.  A tear escaped but she brushed it away before he noticed.  

Soon the volcano was done and Sara had drowned two glasses of wine.  

"Now for the final touch," Grissom grabbed from the fridge a jar of pasta sauce.

"What are you doing?"  Sara asked with a frown knowing full well there would be a mess she would be picking up later.

"Well every volcano needs it's lava," he proceeded to poor some sauce over the brown sides of the volcano.

"You know you could have just used paint or markers and get the same effect."

"But this looks more realistic."

"That volcano will never last now once the paper is soaked with sauce, it will just fall apart Griss."  She shook her head.

"Have a little faith, I do know what I'm doing."  

"Okay, but you'll have to explain it Dylan when it doesn't last."

"It will last, Sara."

Sara just sighed instead of getting into a fight over a volcano.  "Oh, you should be getting Dylan now."  
  


"On my way.  I'll be home in a bit."  As the words came out he averted his face from hers.  Why had he said that?  With that he left to pick up Dylan.

Dylan was quite pleased to have both of his parents eating his dinner of fish and chips with him.  To Sara it seemed like some dream, like it couldn't possibly be true that her and Grissom were breaking bread and making pleasant conversation.  Grissom was overjoyed at the feeling of family again and secretly wished he didn't have to leave.

After dinner was completed, Grissom stood up.  "I have to go to work.  Nick and Warwick will bring you back the Tahoe.  Thank you for dinner, I had a real nice time."

Sara smiled back.

"Don't go."  Dylan's lip quavered.

Grissom spoke his thoughts out loud.  "I  know, I wish I wasn't leaving, too."

He saw the look of shock sweep over Sara's face.  Hugging his son he began heading to his waiting SUV.

Sara caught up with him.  "Griss!"

He turned suddenly feeling his heart rate increase.

"Why don't you come back after your shift.  You…you can have breakfast with us before I go to work and Dylan heads to school."  Her palms were sweaty and she wiped them on her jeans.

Grissom thought for a moment.  "Okay, I'll be by."

Sara smiled and watched him get into the Tahoe.  Before he drove off, he waved, Sara returning the acknowledgement.

To be continued…(See it gets happier)


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Ripples in the Water

Chapter: 9

Author: Evidence

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: Thanks again for the reviews!  A little twist in this chapter so hold on.

He saw her as he was entering the DNA lab.  She was with Greg looking at the results of a particular case.  He smiled to himself as he waved a hand to the both of them and she smiled back.  Things had changed between them.  They had eaten several meals together as a family, brought Dylan to the movies, had sat in front of the t.v. together on a Saturday night.  Over the course of four months, Grissom and Sara had slowly been working their way back to each other.  There was no intimacy yet, not even a kiss but they were talking and that was a start.  They had a lot to get pass in order to make a new future.  Good times could not erase the memories of words spoken in anger.  Grissom had passed to the corners of his mind the affair.  The relationship must have ended, he assumed, for now when she could date someone she wasn't.

"Greg, do you have the results from the McPherson case, yet?"  Grissom asked.

"No, I've been busy with your wife.  She's got me hopping."

"Good, someone needs to keep you working."  Grissom smiled.  His wife, how wonderful it sounded to hear that again.

"Well, Greg's all yours, I'm clocking out and going home to a handsome young man."  Sara started out the door.

"Sara."  Grissom called.

"Yeah."

"I'll call when I have some down time and chat with Dylan and you, okay?"

Her eyes showed her happiness.  "That would be great.  I think I'll going to bring him to the park for dinner, he was asking for a picnic, then we'll be home."

"Okay."  Grissom watched her profile as she left and headed to the locker room.

"You kids," Greg said with a shake of his head.

"What?"  Grissom scrunched his eyebrows trying to comprehend the young man.

"You kids are crazy in love again, it's good to see."

"There is a lot to work though."

"Yeah but at least you trying and the love's there Gil I can see it."

"Did you just call me Gil?"  Grissom crossed his eyes.

"Yeah…"

"Don't.  Now work on the results."  He started out the door and then added.  "Please."

Greg laughed.  Grissom was still Grissom even when he was in love again.

The phone rang and once again the answering machine clicked on.  Grissom hung up.  Dinner must have taken longer than Sara expected.  He went back to looking at the McPherson file on his desk.  A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts.  A glum Jim Brass stood halfway in and halfway out.

"Jim, what's…"  Grissom read his expression too well.  "Oh, no, what happened?"  His heart began thundering in his eyes, dryness took over his mouth.

"Judy just took a message for you and I told her I would relay it.  It was the hospital, Gil."

"The hospital?"  A million thoughts ran through his head making him deaf to what Brass was saying.  "Jim, please repeat what you just said."

"The hospital called looking for you.  There has been an accident.  Dylan's fine."  He walked up to Grissom now and put a hand on his shoulder.  "Your boy's fine."

Grissom digested what he was saying.

"Sara though…"

"What happened?"  It was almost a yell coming out of his throat.

"Sara was getting the picnic basket from the backseat of her Tahoe.  Dylan was already out.  Some kids were fooling around in their car and they slammed into the back of the Tahoe."

"I've got to get to the hospital."  Grissom jumped up, unsteady as if drunk and grabbed his black jacket from its hanger.

"I'll drive you."

The bright lights pained his already burning eyes.  Tears had formed creating moisture on his glasses.  His senses were all off.  He hadn't felt like this since the day Dylan was born and complications arose.

"I'm Gil Grissom, Sara Sidle Grissom is my wife."  He chocked on the last words.  What if he never got the chance to tell Sara he still loved her, that he always would?  

The blonde receptionist directed him to the ICU.  Jim, with a hand on Grissom's back led him to the waiting room.

"Daddy."  It came as a cry as the boy ran up to his father.

"It's okay, Dylan.  Mommy's going to be just fine."

"It was bad."

"You, you saw it."

Dylan merely shook his head and Grissom held him tighter.

"Thank you," Grissom spoke to the officer who had been staying with Dylan.

"Mr. Grissom?"  A doctor in scrubs baring the name Dr. Underwood entered the small blue waiting room.

"Dylan, let's play with these cars, okay?"  Brass took the youngster's good hand and brought him to a corner of the waiting room filled with toys to keep one's mind off their troubles.

"How's Sara?"  Grissom swallowed hard.

"She'll be okay but she's going to be laided up for quite some time.  She broke a vertebrae."

Grissom's eyes shut.  "Can she walk?"

"Yes, we are able to take some bone from her hip and infuse it into that broken vertebrae.  It is in the middle of her back so she is numb in her arms and legs but that will eventually go away, once she has the surgery.  With physical therapy and three months of complete rest she'll be back to normal.  She was very lucky."

"Is she awake?"

"Yes, she refused any pain medication because she wanted to see you first.'

Grissom wiped at his eyes.  "I would like to see her now.  Dylan, I'll be back in a little bit," he spoke to the boy who shook his head.

Sara was in noticeable pain, lying with a collar on and bruises on her face from where she must have hit the seat.  "Grissom," she said so quietly he could hardly hear her.

"I'm here." He took her hand in his.

"Dylan's okay.'

"I saw him, he's fine, Brass is with him now."

"I need surgery.  Anything could go wrong in there.  Promise me," her eyes filled with tears, "promise me that you'll take care of Dylan."

He swallowed.  "Of course I would but Sara don't say that, you will make it."

"I'm just saying if I…"

"Don't even think it."  He kissed her forehead, a familiar, natural move.  

She tried her best to smile.  

"Are you ready?" The doctor asked entering the small corner she had been placed in.

"Yes," she responded staring at Grissom as the attendants began preparing her for surgery.

Catherine came and took Dylan to her house while he waited.  Nick stopped to check in several times.  Warrick had just left a few minutes before.  Everyone was concerned but none more than Gil Grissom.  He had nearly rubbed the skin raw on his knuckles from nervous itching.  He needed Sara to be well, he needed her. His life had been a void since he had left like it was before she entered his world.  He wanted to feel whole again.

"Mr. Grissom."

Grissom jumped up at the sight of the doctor.

"How is she?"

He waited there until she woke.  "Hey," he said smiling.  

"Gri…" was the only thing she could get out.

"I've got great news.  The surgery was a success.  It will take a few months before you're back to yourself but you will be okay."

Her eyes closed and opened.  A small smile formed.

"I have something to ask you."  He fixed his chair so that he was closer to her.  "I need to take care of Dylan while your mending."  He paused searching for a way to bring up the subject.  He had great fear that her response would be negative.  "You are going to need help, too. I want to take care of you both so…Sara, may I move back in, at least temporary?"

He watched a tear roll down her check.  She blinked twice.  Yes.

To be continued… (Sorry I'm late in updating and that the chapter is short but life got in the way.  We are beginning to conclude this little tale.)


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Ripples in the Water 

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 10

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: The medical information is pretty factual and now you begin to see how Dylan is different from other children.  Thanks for reading!

Many of his clothes were now hanging back in the closet brushing Sara's slacks and shirts.  He had fixed up Sara's bed so that when she came home this afternoon she could lay down and relax.  Dylan was on a high enjoying every minute with his father.  Grissom had splurged on a bike for him although Dylan couldn't ride it.  They had practiced for two days but even with training wheels, Dylan's loose motor control would not keep him upright.  Something else to stick in the garage alongside the roller skates, fishing pole, and various other toys Dylan could not use.

The doorbell rang interrupting Grissom's tweaking of the house.

"Thank you," Grissom said receiving a beautiful mum plant from the deliveryman.

Grissom knew he hadn't sent it to Sara.  Hum, maybe Nick and Tina or Warrick?  Could be Brass.  Probably Catherine.

Grissom slid the card out of its envelope.  It read: "You get well soon.  I have some more information for you.  Call me. Eric."

His breath caught in this throat and he had to tell himself to breathe.  Eric, Eric St. John, the man who called Sara, Sara's ex.  Gaining some composure Grissom thought for a moment.  This was not a romantic message and he had information for her.  What was going on?

Sara's face was bright even though she was still in a lot of pain.  "I am ready to go home."  

Grissom entered the room and grabbed her bag from the closet.  "You look wonderful, Sara.  You've made excellent progress."

"Thanks.  You've been a big part of that."  A blush shown on her cheeks.

Grissom put his hands on the wheelchair.  "Shall we?"

"Please, push away."

At the Tahoe Sara pushed herself up from the chair.  She could walk but seeing the hip had a chunk of bone missing from it walking was rather limping.  Grissom put his arm around her waist and helped her into the passenger seat.

It was strange to be touching her again.  It felt like they were starting all over when one touch meant so much.

Grissom started the Tahoe and decided to jump right into the questions nagging at his mind.  "Sara, I have something to ask you.  You received a plant from Eric St. John.  Are you still involved with him?"

Sara quickly turned her head causing pain to shoot through her body.  "No, I've never had an affair with him!  What would give you that idea."

"The day I left he called you.  Then you confirmed the affair to Brass."

She rubbed her head.  "I lied to Brass."

"What?"  He nearly swerved into oncoming traffic.

"I wanted to make you hurt like I was so I lied.  I've never slept with anyone else since we started dating.  Eric has been helping with another issue."

"Something you couldn't tell me?"

"Yes, Eric is a psychologist who specializes in the treatment of people who close themselves off from the world. He recently moved into an office in Henderson.  I contacted him hoping he could help me with…you."  Her voice was soft.

Thoughts swirled in Grissom's brain.  One major reason for the separation had been the affair.  Sara felt she needed help to deal with him?

"I love you Griss but sometimes you are so hard to understand.  I needed someone to tell me that was normal for you.  I needed to be reassured."

"You could have asked me."

"No, I couldn't have not the way you were acting." 

She was right, he never told her now he was feeling how did he expect her to reveal the same information to him?  "I'm glad you didn't have an affair."

She rubbed at her sore hip.  "Is this strange?"

"What?"

"You taking care of me after we have been separated this long?"

"I guess it's different…not like we are married but not like we don't know each other well."

Sara chuckled.  "Some weird middle ground."

"Yeah."

After a quick snack consisting of a wheat-free cracker (Grissom couldn't understand how she act such things), Sara was already drained and Dylan was still at school.  Grissom put his arm around her and helped her to bed.  He gently laid her down on the turned over sheets reminiscent of times past.

Her eyes were flickering, starting to sleep but not wanting to.  "Grissom…"

"Shh, you sleep.  I'll be in the next room if you need me."

He watched her drift away and went back to clean up the kitchen.

The first days were the hardest for Sara.  Grissom had to help with dressing and showering her; the pain was too great in her back and hip for her to move much on her on.  Stiffness ran through her entire body.  It felt odd for both of them to be so close with Grissom helping her with this and that but to be so far away.  

Grissom relished the fact of being needed.  Sara had always been so independent but she needed him now to do simple things until she improved.  

Grissom had taken three weeks out of work- something very unique for him.  He spent all this time at the house with Sara or bringing Dylan here and there.  He felt happy again and didn't even mind being away from his job.  For once his family took complete precedence over being a CSI.  

Sara had also a chance over this time to divulge further in Grissom's psyche.  She learned more about his past and who he was.  They were sharing a deeper connection than they had previously over the span of time they had known each other.  But something was different; they had already put themselves in hell and somehow were coming back from it.  Sara no longer worried that saying something to Grissom might upset him, he had upset her enough as it was.  Grissom felt freer to share his feelings after he had let many private kept thoughts slip out during their fights.

Being apart was in a way putting them closer together.  They weren't as careful around each other because of that water under the bridge so they were more able to be honest.  Honesty was something new to Grissom even though he would never admit it.  He was no liar but by keeping his feelings close to his heart he unintentionally had lied many times.  This "new Grissom" wasn't trying to hold anything back for he had already lost Sara and was now just trying to find his place in her life.

It was the last day of Grissom's leave.  Sara was now able to get around and change on her own but her clothes needed to be baggy.  It had been a wonderful three weeks.

Dylan had been to bed for a few hours when Sara's eyes began closing.  "It's bedtime for someone," Grissom said with a smile.

Sara yawned.  "Yeah, at least I can get there on my own now."

She started up but Grissom followed.  "Let me make sure you don't trip on anything and undue all the good that's been done."

"Okay," she said with a laugh and gently put herself in bed.

"Do you want to change?" Grissom asked referring to the sweats she had worn all day.

She shook her head and closed her eyes.  She felt his presence and reopened them.  He was looking at her biting his lip.  She knew what he was hesitantly asking.  "Get in." Sara moved the cover.

He took off his shoes and placed himself next to her.  He spent all the other nights on the couch but he just felt the need to be closer to her.  He put his hand in hers and watched her fall to sleep.

The office building was white sandstone.  Grissom scanned the names on the building plaque until he found the one he was looking for.  The elevator rode smoothly up to the fifth floor as Bach played in the background.  Grissom exited at his destination walking over to a friendly looking receptionist.  

"Excuse me," He said with a slight smile, "I have an appointment with Dr. St. John."

To be continued…


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Ripples in the Water 

Author: Evidence

Chapter: 11

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: Thank you again for reading and reviewing.  Alas this is the end of this story.  I really enjoyed writing it because I felt it "meant" something.  Hope you enjoy.

The chair was that uncomfortable leather that looked good but made you feel like your bum was forever attached to glue.  Grissom shifted in the seat some more.  He was uncomfortable enough as it was without having a chair bothering him.

Dr. St. John was dark haired and haggard looking; giving the appearance that life hadn't been kind to him.  Grissom smiled as he thought letting Sara slip away probably created St. John's current physical state.

"Gil, tell me more about your father."

Grissom sighed.  "There isn't much to tell.  He wasn't in my life.  He left when I was just a kid."

"Why did he leave?"

"I don't know.  He said he had to but…"

"You do know.  Think about it."  St. John bore green eyes that were hypnotic in nature.

Rubbing his forehead, Grissom willed himself to think.  Why had he gone?  Because mom was deaf?  Because he wasn't happy?  Because I was there?  "He left…he left because of me."  His heart began thundering in his ears.

"Why?"

"I…I was different.  I had no friends.  I didn't play sports.  I wanted to spend all my time alone reading and looking at bugs.  I preferred the deaf world and he couldn't stand it.  I'm the reason he left."  A shudder went through him.

Dr. St. John nodded.  "So you were special.  Like Dylan is special."

"Well, no, I had no learning disabilities."

"But was life easy for you?  Did you mature as your peers?"

"Well, no…"

"Then you and Dylan are the same.  Dylan is good with people, right?"  Grissom shook his head.  "You lack social skills.  Dylan has learning disabilities.  You have people disabilities."

"What?'

Dr. St. John smiled.  "Gil, as Dylan can't read, you can't talk to others.  You fear letting them in.  You don't know how to approach them.  You are disabled in that way."

Grissom reflected on what the doctor had just said.  Was his personality a cause of problems?  Well, it did hurt his marriage and he wouldn't have Sara if she hadn't knocked some sense into him.

"What do I do Doctor?"

St. John sighed.  "I can continue to see you and make sure I pull some information out of you whether you like it or not.  Then we have to come up with a plan to help you.  Sort of like Dylan's IEP.  There will be goals to be set."

Grissom chuckled.  "I'm like Dylan, I think I like that. I want to change, I want to keep Sara and my son in my life."

"That is the first step."

He bought a nice piece of haddock from Wilson's Fish Market that afternoon and brought it home for their supper meal.  He could sense Sara was curious to how the session went but with Dylan munching at the table the topic was closed for discussion.

Grissom read a Dr. Seuss story to Dylan after he had tucked him in.  A baseball adorned room for a kid who would never play the game.  Grissom shook his head.  He had to stop dwelling on the negative concerning Dylan, all it did was make Grissom feel worse.

"I'm turning in," Sara popped in her head and spoke in a whisper.

Grissom met her in the hall.  "I better be off to work before everyone wonders where I am."

"Yeah," she started.

"When the shift is done, I'll make us some breakfast."  Grissom smiled warmly.

"I may sleep in late," Sara bent her head so he couldn't look into her eyes.

"Then I'll go to bed first- breakfast can wait."

"I'll save you your space."  Sara smiled back.

Sara was physically not ready to progress their relationship any further but they felt so close just lying beside each other.

Grissom grabbed his coat and started out the door.  He stopped suddenly realizing he hadn't told Sara about the session with Eric St. John.  "Oh, everything went well. Eric is very smart and nice."

"Great," Sara said.

"Yeah, he thinks I'm disabled."

"What?"  Sara's head shot up.

Grissom nodded.  "My lack of people skills.  I think with Eric's help and your…" he stopped short of saying love, "I'm be okay."

"I always thought you were better than okay."

"Thank you for saying that.  I'm going to change Sara, and then I'm going to make this relationship last."

Sara felt her pulse quicken.  "I don't want you to change, just open up more.  I want this to last, too."  She closed the space between them.  "I love Gil Grissom no matter what's wrong with him."  The smirk lingered on her face for a moment until it was replaced by Grissom's lips wetting hers.

They kissed gently with passion ebbing underneath.

Grissom smiled after he pulled away.  "I would only change for Sara Sidle."

"Ah, correction, Sara Sidle Grissom."

"I stand corrected."  He left then, the taste of Sara's lips making him warm as a light rain drizzled.

The sessions had gone well.  Grissom had learned to meditate on his bitterness over his father's disappearance from his life, the reasons he secluded himself from others and the difficulties that abounded with a special needs child.  He had felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.  He no longer felt the pressure to bite his tongue when talking to someone.  He wanted to invest in the physical, environmental, and social worlds, not just the world of science and books.  

Grissom had always found science easy, not just because of his uber-intelligence but science was fact, it could be proven, there was no guesswork involved in the final result.  Life on the other hand was full of unpredictable events, a roller coaster with highs and lows.  It was scary and uncontrollable.  Grissom though was finally ready to embrace life and the roadblocks formed in the way.  He didn't want to retreat anymore to the security of fact, of science.  He was willing to explore what life had in store for him; he was willing to lose some control.

If someone had told him that his love for Sara would change him, he would've agreed.  He wouldn't have been able to know how much that love would do for him.  

Sara, meanwhile, had recovered nicely from the accident and subsequent surgery.  She moved around freely and was back hard at work.  She relished her new life with Grissom which she believed was better than at any time during their marriage.  He was more open and trusting.  They communicated at a deeper level.  Grissom had gotten rid of his apartment and moved all this things back into the ranch house.  They ate dinner, went to movies, kissed, laughed, and made love.  Somehow it seemed sweeter the second time around. 

Dylan had progressed slightly in the months since his father moved back in.  He entered first grade and begun reading some simple words such as "I", "you", "it".  Even though it was only slight improvement his parents were quite proud.

"Dylan's the four presenter," Greg Sanders read off the blue information sheet.

Warrick shifted in the metal chair he was sitting in.  "Gosh, could they find a worst place to sit.  My back is already killing me."

"Stop whining," Catherine said with a laugh.

"Just everyone remember to tell the kid he did a great job, no matter how bad it is."

"Brass!"  Nick looked appalled.

"Well, he wrote this himself…how good can it be?"  Jim folded his arms.

Grissom and Sara took their seats then.  They had been in the back wishing Dylan good luck.

"How is he?" Catherine asked.

"Nervous."  Sara sighed.

"It's only first grade, no one's expecting Shakespeare."  Brass smiled.

"We don't even know what he wrote, he won't show it us," Grissom said placing his arm around Sara's shoulders.  "Oh, Tina, that's a nice blouse."

"Um…thanks," Tina replied looking at Nick.  Nick couldn't help but smile.  Grissom was really trying to be friendlier.  

The presentations went quickly and then it was Dylan's turn.  He was dressed in a blue shirt with navy slacks even though he had wanted to wear his favorite pair of jeans.  He slowly approached the center of the stage his face nearly white.  He swallowed hard and his parents held their breaths.

"I…I wrote this."  He looked at his parents and they smiled back warmly.  Dylan, gathering up his courage began, "Water is great.  It is blue.  If you throw a stone in the water, it moves.  My Uncle Nick says that is a ripple."

Nick beamed.

"Ripples always come back to you.  Just like my parents.  They always come back together. The end."

Applause came from everywhere but Dylan's little hybrid family.  They were surprised and elated at the same time.  Grissom patted Sara's shoulder and looked into her eyes.  "I'll always come back to you."

"I know," she said and clapped for her son.

Dylan bounded off the stage, smiling ear to ear.  He quickly took a seat in his father's lap.

"Well, I'm impressed," Brass said trying to hide an errant tear.

"Great job!"  Catherine touched his shoulder.

"I'm glad someone listens to me," Nick added.

"Honey, that was beautiful," Sara said pushing back his bangs.

"I had help from my teachers.'

"Okay, but who came up with the ripple idea?"  Grissom asked.

"I did."  Dylan pointed at Nick.  "Uncle Nick told me."

"But you related it to us…" Grissom looked at his son's quizzical expression.  "Never mind."

Grissom and Sara sat at home that night contemplating all that had occurred in their young marriage.  The fights, the false infidelity, Dylan's birth, the problems that he faced, the love always there no matter.  Sara had her head on Grissom's shoulder as they talked feeling the warmth of his body heat.

"Gil, there is something I need to tell you."

"Gil?  Did you just say "Gil"?"  Fear took over his heart.

She moved from her comfortable position.  "You know how medication can interfere with birth control pills?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, the medication I was on for my back did that."  She paused as she watched his eyes light up.  A smile formed on his face.  "So anyways I'm pregnant."

He kissed her, holding her even closer to him.  "Oh, Sara this is wonderful."  This time he truly met it.  He loved being a father and was ready to do a better job at it with this child.

"You know that this baby could be like Dylan or worse.  Especially seeing I got pregnant on birth control pills."  Sara sighed.  "There could be mental retardation, a malady of things."

Grissom nodded.  "I know but I wouldn't trade Dylan for anything.  If the worse happens we'll deal with it together."

"I just worry that this is going to break us up again if we face problems with this child.  Or what if the child is perfect and Dylan feels we love the baby more because he or she is more like us?"

"Don't worry.  No one knows what life will bring, it's how you deal with it that's important."  Grissom kissed her forehead.

"Yeah, I never thought we were going to get together the way things were going all those years ago."  Sara reflected on the memories.

Grissom pushed back her hair.  "Didn't our son just teach us that we are ripples in the water?  We will always come back to each other, Sara.  That's what happens with soul mates."

They kissed, Sara falling back on the couch with Grissom soon following.  Sara's charm bracelet made noise as her arm came around Grissom's body.  Above them Evan's painting stared down in it's brilliant glory.  A symbolization of hope, dreams and love reunited once again.

The end.


End file.
